Luquayle's Longevity-Enhancing Ballast

What's it called? Luquayle's Longevity-Enhancing Ballast (or LLEB for short)               

What does it do? It makes a shield heavier and sturdier. Why would you wish to do that, you might ask? Well, this is due to the characteristics of magically floating a shield for self-defense using Endorphin's Floating Friend. Heavier shields are more difficult to float but resist more damage before being knocked out of orbit. Once you acquire more proficiency in magical defenses, you regularly need to 'upgrade' to a heavier shield and abandon your previous one. This new spell allows you make the previous shield heavier, and therefore, to continue using it, which you might like to do for a variety of sensible reasons (old shield looks cool, the recommended upgrade is too expensive or it is too scarce...).

Where is it? It is one of the new hedge-wizard spells that are to be found within the pages of the Pracktical Hedgecrafte grimoire, in Skund.

What does it require? a sliver of octiron and a riving of ironwood, both of which are consumed ('merged' with the shield) in the process.

What skills do I need? gold, turning, enchanting, water, binding

Has it worked? A successful output should look something like this:

You prepare to cast Luquayle's Longevity-Enhancing Ballast on the antique round shield.

> You hold the octiron sliver in one hand, urging it to liquify like molten gold.

Holding the ironwood riving horizontally, you command it to spin in place in front of you.

You slowly draw the liquid octiron across the full length of the spinning ironwood, coaxing the two to merge into a single, miraculous amalgam.

You stretch out the liquid octironwood into a thin sheet and wrap the antique round shield up in it completely.

With a final exertion of your will, you bind the octironwood to the antique round shield and watch it sink below the surface.

The antique round shield feels sturdier now.

Notes: A line of description is added to the shield on whom the spell has been cast:

Occasional shimmers of multi-coloured light ripple across its surface.

The spell can be cast multiple times on the same shield, making it heavier each time (and perhaps increasing the casting requirements? Needs to be tested). A failure brings the shield upon your head, destroying it in the process.

The weight increase, in my case, was roughly of 3 pounds (about 7 before casting, about 10 after casting). I imagine it would be the same for everyone.

Help Information:

Luquayle's Longevity-Enhancing Ballast

A second-order miscellaneous spell that reinforces a shield. This process causes the shield to weigh more than before, but also increases the amount of protection it provides. In most cases, this process will also increase the overall durability of the shield.    

 It is possible to cast the spell multiple times on the same shield, but there is an upper limit to the amount of additional mass that any shield can be expected to accommodate.

This spell requires a sliver of octiron and a riving of ironwood to cast.  Both of these components will be consumed in the process of casting the spell.   

Ridcully's Travelling Furniture Manufactory

What's it called?  Ridcully's Travelling Furniture Manufactory (or RTFM for short)

What does it do? It brings into being a very comfortable chair, which you can sit on and relax, while enjoying a nice cuppa and a snack.

Where is it? This is one of the new hedge spells that you will find inside the bark-like pages of Pracktical Hedgecrafte tome, in Skund.

What does it require? A sore bum. No, really - it is component free.

What skills do I need? chanting, dancing, conjuring, banishing, charming

Has it worked? A chair should appear in front of you. A successful output looks like this:

You prepare to cast Ridcully's Travelling Furniture Manufactory.

> You clear your throat and declaim a thunderous address to the abstract concept of comfort and ease.

You gesture broadly, describing the concept of an armchair to the listening universe.

You reach out with your will and force the waiting potential into the shape of a comfy armchair.

You sense eldritch creatures from the Dimensions of Endless Discomfort crowding in, and send a tendril of magical influence to banish them.

You project a feeling of welcome and ease, offering the nascent comfy armchair a home in the real world.

A luxurious hawthorn petal white armchair falls out of a hole in the air with a THUMP.

Notes:

Each chair is slightly different. The colours will depend on your order (which means I get different shades of white, mostly), but stuff like wooden material, stuffing, decoration and legs vary randomly. This chair I brought to being looked like this:

This solid wood-framed armchair has been very generously upholstered in hawthorn petal white wool, stuffed with lavender and decorated with brass studs.  The arms are broad enough for a tankard or a tea mug, and the wide-set legs have been carved with marvellous skill into the shape of pig's trotters.

There is nothing on the luxurious hawthorn petal white armchair.

You can only bring one chair at a time into a room, although other wizards can add chairs to yours. You (and others) can also dismiss them, at the cost of some guild points:

dismiss armchair

You get off the luxurious hawthorn petal white armchair and stand up.

With a flicker of your will, you prise open a gateway out of the reality we know.  You twist your tongue around the ancient language of furniture, and tell the luxurious hawthorn petal white armchair "You can go home now".  It shuffles off through the gateway, dissolving once again into pure potential.

A curiosity: if you cast the spell while floating over water, what gets created is actually a duck!

In the water just below and near the docks.  Huge numbers of now silent boats and ships almost block the banks of the river completely and what little space is left is cluttered by floating debris.  Although it isn't as hectic as during the day, roaming sailors and less than legal traders still keep the place busy.  A flimsy layer of ice has formed on the surface, but the constant traffic of ships keeps it very thin.  The silhouette and lights of Ankh Bridge lie a bit off to the east.

It is a very cold autumn prime's night with almost no wind and medium cloud cover.

There are five obvious exits: down, north, east, south and west.

A giant luxurious cloud white rubber duck is floating here.

> 

l duck

This enormous cloud white rubber duck floats comfortably on the water, huge webbed feet dipping low to stabilise the weight it is designed to bear.  The wings have been shaped into a comfortable back rest, and the head bears a noble but playful expression on its beak.

> The giant luxurious cloud white rubber duck is swept west by the current.

Help Information:

Ridcully's Travelling Furniture Manufactory                                                    

Right.  Write that my spell summons a comfy chair. Have you got that?                     

What do you mean more detail?  Alright.  Say you're sitting by a river somewhere, or in a really boring meeting with those hard wooden chairs and your donkey is falling asleep. What you need is a comfy armchair!   So you cast my spell, which is a first order miscellaneous spell, and just like that, you have an armchair.                                                                                                                

When you don't need it any more, you can dismiss it to make sure nobody else sits on it.  

Alright, we're done, what's for elevenses?  What do you mean the little box is still recording?  Don't write that bit.  Turn it off.   

       

Ralstorphine's Refreshing Draught

What's it called? Ralstorphine's Refreshing Draught (RRD for short)

What does it do? It brings into being a cup filled with ginger beer, which you can then proceed to consume. It tastes delicious! Besides, I imagine you could use the cup for when you are in need of any container (like if you want to try the herbal tea at the shed before the hedge maze).

Where is it? This is one of the new hedge wizard spells that lies lurking within the bark-encrusted covers of the Pracktical Hedgecrafte volume, in Skund.

What does it require? It is component-free!

What skills do I need? water, evoking, summoning

Has it worked? Well, if you find a cup with ginger beer in your hands, the answer is yes. The casting messages look like this:

cast Ralstorphine's Refreshing Draught

You prepare to cast Ralstorphine's Refreshing Draught.

> Reaching into the rivers that flow between the planes we know, you spin a tendril of water into a hovering orb.

Recalling adventures in summer meadows, you infuse the hovering orb of water with the essence of leaf and spice.

Remembering that you need something to put the drink in, you reach into the crockery dimension and grab the first thing you see, holding it out for the liquid to fall into.

Your driftwood grey cup of ginger beer quivers gently and falls still.

Notes: 

What does the cup and the drink look like:

l cup

This sturdy driftwood grey stoneware cup is gently rounded to fit in the hand, and large enough to quench almost anyone's thirst.  The glossy surface has been decorated with a stylized pattern of blossoms.

It is in excellent condition.

The driftwood grey cup of ginger beer is completely full with one cup of ginger beer.

It is completely full.

> 

l beer in cup

This is about one cup of sparkling golden ginger beer.  Despite the name, it contains no alcohol whatsoever, which has confused many a rural youth more used to ginger wine.

Each cup will have a different colour. I was misled by my first two cups, which produced different shades of grey (driftwood grey and raindrop grey). Third one was deep brown. I imagine you go through all available colors, like those for inks.

The help file also gives a interesting warning about what can happen if you don't have enough summoning skills for the spell. I haven't failed it, but I'd guess you might get the cup going away instantly, perhaps with the ginger beer falling on your clothes.

Help Information:

Ralstorphine's Refreshing Draught                                                              

Ralstorphine's Refreshing Draught is a first order miscellaneous spell which summons a cup of ginger beer for the wizard who wants a refreshing drink and doesn't have a fancy hall full of servants to get it for them.                                                      

Warning: entities from the Plane of Crockery may get bored if insufficiently strongly summoned, and return there.    

Feyfirkin's Errant Trainee Collection Herbage

What's it called?  Feyfirkin's Errant Trainee Collection Herbage (FETCH for short. Also, pun intended, I expect).

What does it do? In a way, it is an inverse portal. It send an 'arcane bloom' to someone, who then has the option of grasping it (and being taken to the caster's place) grasping and uprooting it (same, but stops any nasty meaning who might be at your previous location from following you) o uproot or ignore it (nothing happens).

Where is it? It is one of the recently discover hedge wizardry spells contained in the Pracktical Hedgecrafte volume in the upper reaches of a certain magical tree. 

What does it require? A wooden staff, which is not consumed in the process.

What skills do I need? divining, staff, convoking, channeling, evoking

Has it worked? This is the output from my first casting, spell Creator's intervention in the chat included!

You prepare to cast Feyfirkin's Errant Trainee Collection Herbage on Flatulent Thalic.

> > You close your eyes and send out mental feelers, trying to pinpoint Flatulent Thalic.

You plant your staff firmly on the ground and instruct it to act as a focal point for distant arcane energies.

(Wizards) Kadath's wispy voice comes from the Sung family crest, saying: FETCH shouldn't allow anyone to leave an area that doesn't allow portalling out or enter an area that doesn't allow portalling in ^_^.  If you somehow manage to circumvent this, please report it as a bug :)

You trace a route through sub-dimensional space that links your location with that of Flatulent Thalic.

With a connection in place, you prime the area around Flatulent Thalic, charging it with magical potential.

With a grunt of effort, you start to manifest a physical totem at Flatulent Thalic's location.

You feel the connection between your location and Flatulent Thalic's solidify.

Notes:

The spell will fail if either the caster and/or the receiver is in a no-portalling location. In the first case, you get the following message:

Your current location seems to resist being linked via magical means.

In the second, you get the following message:

Some kind of thaumic inteference prevents you from reaching that location.

The bloom will look like the staining present in the caster's staff. From the receiver's side, the apparition looks like this:

An Institute turquoise arcane bloom sprouts from the ground here, growing rapidly to about knee height.

l bloom

This otherworldly piece of flora consists of thousands of long, Institute turquoise stems protruding from a single point and spreading out to create a roughly elliptical shape.  At the tip of each stem is a tiny, delicate flower that tessellates almost perfectly with its neighbour.  When viewed all together, the various shades of the tiny flowers seem to form an image of some sort.

You could try inspecting it more closely to make sense of the displayed image.

> 

inspect bloom more closely

The pattern in the flowers shows a simple depiction of an arid plain.  The glimmer of sentience within the Institute turquoise arcane bloom tells you that it was created by Octograver Ochrion for your benefit.  You feel that you could grasp the bloom if you were so inclined, in order to visit the place it portrays.  Alternatively, you could uproot the bloom if you don't wish to be bothered by it.

You inspect the Institute turquoise arcane bloom.

> 

grasp bloom

You roughly grasp the Institute turquoise arcane bloom and immediately feel yourself being pulled through interdimensional space.

(...)

Feeling dizzy and a little drained from the trip, you stagger forwards to find yourself in a new location.

You see a cloud of flower blossoms forming here, materialising into the shape of Grimoire the alligator.

Grimoire the alligator stares at Octograver Ochrion.

In case the receiver chooses to ignore the boom, it will go away after some time with this message:

The butterscotch yellow arcane bloom shrinks rapidly until there is no longer any sign of it ever having been here.

Help Information:

Feyfirkin's Errant Trainee Collection Herbage                                                  

A zeroth-order miscellaneous spell that aids the caster in retrieving their lost apprentice.  The spell sends a clump of herbage (namely an arcane bloom) to the location  of the inept lost soul that they can use to quickly travel back to their mentor's side.   

The apprentice need only grasp the arcane bloom to be transported.  Should the apprentice not wish to be followed by any pesky bandits, yetis or particularly dexterous wolves, they may uproot the bloom as they grasp it, to prevent unwanted stowaways.                     

Finally, should the apprentice be feeling particularly wilful, or indeed disagree as to whether they are in fact in need of rescue, they may simply uproot the bloom without travelling at all.                                                                        

This spell requires the caster to have a wooden staff on hand to be cast successfully.  

Journey of the Heavenly Storm Dragon

 

What's it called? Journey of the Heavenly Storm Dragon (JHSD for short)

What does it do? It brings down an electrical dragon from the heavens that attacks your foe(s). You cast it on only one, but the lighting can go forth to other objective(s) after hitting the first.

In a way, it is an upgraded NES that can harm multiple targets and (presumably) causes more damage than the more conventional lightning spell.

Where is it? Dragons are a very Agatean kind of creature, so the spell lies inside the Heavenly Arts volume of the Bes Pelargic Wizard L- Space Bubble.

What does it require? A staff and a torch. The latter is consumed in the process.

What skills do I need? In degree, lots. In kind, the 4 elementals (air, earth, fire, water) and channeling.

Has it worked? Trust me, you'll know if it doesn't, but a successful output reads something like this:

You sheathe Storm Serpent in the silvery grey saya.

You get a lightable torch from the ornate bone backpack.

You get a staff with a knob on the end from the ornate bone backpack.

You prepare to cast Journey of the Heavenly Storm Dragon on the happy dwarf warrior.

Queued command: draw sword

> The accountant says: My people will call your people.

A merchant turns his back to rearrange his wares.

You spit into the air.

You think of dragon's breath as you blow forcefully into the air, whistling a strange melodic dirge.

You strike the end of your staff with a knob on the end solidly into the ground, setting it humming with power.

With your mind in focus, you sling the torch into the sky and meditate on all the summoned elements.

You swing your staff with a knob on the end towards your hapless target.

A crackling blue serpent arrives from above, and flies toward the happy dwarf warrior in a flash of fury.

You put the staff with a knob on the end in the ornate bone backpack.

The serpent passes completely through the happy dwarf warrior.  A hole smokes where a torso used to be!

A storm serpent passes over the happy dwarf warrior and heads directly towards the skittish tabby cat.

You kill the happy dwarf warrior.

Storm Serpent settles smoothly into your grasp, its deadly potential enhanced by the perfect fit of weapon to wielder.

You draw Storm Serpent from a silvery grey saya into your left hand.

The serpent passes completely through the skittish tabby cat.  A hole smokes where a torso used to be!

A storm serpent passes over the skittish tabby cat and heads directly towards the accountant.

You kill the skittish tabby cat.

The serpent passes completely through the accountant.  A hole smokes where a torso used to be!

You kill the accountant.

Notes:

Quite a few things to comment. In the casts I've made, I've found it a bit underwhelming. It takes a long time to cast - autoattacking powerful people, like citadel guards, will have your shield down before the cast is over. Also, they didn't die from a single cast. 

Do not hold anything metal while casting, or it will burn you to cinders. Also, it a spell that allegedly causes terrible damage on you when it fails, frequently killing casters. I'll tell you about it when I get my first dragon death.

The spell requires a staff, but you don't have to be holding it. In fact, you can use the toffee 'staff with a knob at the end' that you can buy in the candy store of the BP Wizard's guild. Also, as stated, you cast it on just one person.

The amount of damage you have causes comes through, as in similar spells, through the messages you get after the lightning hits its target(s). From least to most, they seem to be:

The serpent's tail misses the <target>, more or less

The serpent whips the <target> and makes his hair stand on end.

The serpent wraps the <target> in its tail and spews red orbs of energy at his chest before fading away. Comically, the <target> now seems extra crispy as thaumic smoke curls away from his feet.

The serpent engulfs the <target> in a flash of red, and there comes the smell of burning flesh.

The serpent bites the <target> and red ribbons stream from every part of his body.

The serpent passes completely through the <target>. A hole smokes where a torso used to be!

Not sure about 'ribbons' being worse than 'burning flesh'. When I check health after the former, the adversary is usually still quite well.

Help Information:

Journey of the Heavenly Storm Dragon - Summons a storm serpent.                           

Not a spell for the weak of heart.  This spell will summon a mighty storm serpent to help  you in the conquest of the Disc.  Controlling the mighty beast is far less dangerous than summoning it.    

Tickling the dragon's tail!

I'm on a roll of late. Another of my long-term, cherished objectives, which was the casting of Journey of the Heavenly Storm Dragon for the first time, has been achieved. I also haven't died in the process, which is good. The result was a bit underwhelming, though. I was expecting it to do some more damage...

You prepare to cast Journey of the Heavenly Storm Dragon on the grizzled soldier.

> Hp: 3071 (3131) Gp: 243 (437) Xp: 94792

Hp: 3075 (3131) Gp: 246 (437) Xp: 94795

The short recruit slashes at you with his Djelian battle axe but your floating Tsortean metal shield swoops in and absorbs all of the blow.

Hp: 3079 (3131) Gp: 249 (437) Xp: 94798

The short recruit slashes at you with his Djelian battle axe but your floating Tsortean metal shield swoops in and absorbs all of the blow.

You spit into the air.

You think of dragon's breath as you blow forcefully into the air, whistling a strange melodic dirge.

Hp: 3083 (3131) Gp: 252 (437) Xp: 94801

Hp: 3087 (3131) Gp: 255 (437) Xp: 94804

The short recruit slashes at you with his Djelian battle axe but your floating Tsortean metal shield swoops in and absorbs all of the blow.

Hp: 3091 (3131) Gp: 258 (437) Xp: 94807

The short recruit slashes at you with his Djelian battle axe but your floating Tsortean metal shield swoops in and absorbs all of the blow.

You strike the end of your staff with a knob on the end solidly into the ground, setting it humming with power.

Hp: 3095 (3131) Gp: 261 (437) Xp: 94810

Hp: 3099 (3131) Gp: 264 (437) Xp: 94813

The short recruit slashes at you with his Djelian battle axe but your floating Tsortean metal shield swoops in and absorbs all of the blow.

With your mind in focus, you sling the torch into the sky and meditate on all the summoned elements.

Hp: 3103 (3131) Gp: 267 (437) Xp: 94816

The short recruit slashes at you with his Djelian battle axe but your floating Tsortean metal shield swoops in and absorbs all of the blow.

Hp: 3107 (3131) Gp: 270 (437) Xp: 94819

Hp: 3111 (3131) Gp: 273 (437) Xp: 94822

The short recruit slashes at you with his Djelian battle axe but your floating Tsortean metal shield swoops in and absorbs all of the blow.

You swing your staff with a knob on the end towards your hapless target.

Hp: 3115 (3131) Gp: 276 (437) Xp: 94825

Hp: 3119 (3131) Gp: 279 (437) Xp: 94828

The short recruit slashes at you with his Djelian battle axe but your floating Tsortean metal shield swoops in and absorbs all of the blow.

Hp: 3123 (3131) Gp: 282 (437) Xp: 94831

The short recruit slashes at you with his Djelian battle axe but your floating Tsortean metal shield swoops in and absorbs all of the blow.

A crackling blue serpent arrives from above, and flies toward the grizzled soldier in a flash of fury.

You put the staff with a knob on the end in the ornate bone backpack.

Hp: 3127 (3131) Gp: 285 (437) Xp: 94834

The serpent bites the grizzled soldier and red ribbons stream from every part of his body.

A storm serpent passes over the grizzled soldier and heads directly towards the short recruit.

The serpent bites the short recruit and red ribbons stream from every part of his body.

A storm serpent passes over the short recruit and heads directly towards the grizzled soldier.

Hp: 3131 (3131) Gp: 288 (437) Xp: 94837

The short recruit slashes at you with his Djelian battle axe but your floating Tsortean metal shield swoops in and absorbs all of the blow.

The grizzled soldier thrusts at you with his ash spear but your floating Tsortean metal shield swoops in and absorbs all of the blow.

The creature sizzles around the grizzled soldier.

Wurphle's Packed Lunch

A few days ago I managed to master the skills I needed to cast this beauty (with a little help from a bronze helm, I must admit). This means there are only 3 spells left I have never cast, and which in no long time must go down to 0. Yippee!!

What's it called? Wurphle's Packed Lunch (WPL in short)

What does it do? It creates a wizard's lunch sack, which is a wearable container that magically preserves food (and more convenient: body parts) from spoiling without the need to cure them (whether with a pickling stick or non-magical means). This makes a really useful spell, as most wizards move around a lot, harvesting eyes and hearts 'on the run', and they oftentimes go mouldy, sometimes even in mid-cast.

Where is it? It lately resurfaced inside the pages of a very sticky grimoire: The Olde Arte of Foode, in the Unseen University Library.

What does it require? This was a bit of a bugger, as components are really expensive and/or difficult to get: a hubland bear fur (I died once trying to get one of these...), a sapient pearwood seed, a wood riving, a large rhokshial crystal (this costs a small kingdom), a threaded needle and a knife. Except for needle and knife, all other components are consumed in the process. The spell also requires the focus of an octogram.

What skills do I need? animating, enchanting, whittling and binding. Requirements are pretty high, but nothing a mid-level wizard cannot muster. Perhaps the whittling is the most annoying one, even if you are a Silver Star.

Has it worked? A correct output should read something like this:

You prepare to cast Wurphle's Packed Lunch.
> You hold out a sapient pearwood seed in front of you and force it to sprout with your mind, weaving its branches as they grow into a wooden frame. 

You unevenly sew a dark violet bear fur over the frame to form a dark violet bag, imbuing it with magic with every pass of your whalebone needle. 

You whittle a six-foot riving of oak into an intricate magical rune and place it onto the bag, where it sticks in place. With the leftover oak, you fashion a simple clasp to hold the bag closed. 

Finally, you hold up a large blue crystal above the rune and reach into it with your mind, harnessing its power for the purpose of preservation. 

Crackling arcs of blue energy surge out of the crystal and play over the surface of the dark violet wizard's lunch sack for a moment before sinking in reluctantly.

And that's it! If all has gone well, you should amidst your hands the following beauty:

This rustic-looking pouch is essentially a large dark violet fur bag designed to be worn from the waist.  Sewn together with uneven dark amber silk stitching, the fur is supported internally by a wooden frame to help it retain its shape and a simple oak clasp at the opening allows the sack to be closed securely.  A mysterious, glowing blue rune carved from oak has been affixed to the sack's surface.  While the exact purpose of the rune is indeterminable, its exciting sparkliness really hammers in the lunch sack's wizardliness to any onlooker.

A gossamer web of octarine glows dimly on its surface, emanating an aura of icy preservation.

The dark violet wizard's lunch sack has one main pocket, one dessert pocket, one cheese pocket and one appetizer pocket.

You cannot see inside it.  It is closed.

It is in excellent condition.

Notes: The pelt you get from a hubland bear can be tanned (and turned into 'fur') and dyed with a coloured ink of your choice. In my case, Thanks go to Geryon for colouring it for me.

Your skills in some crafts areas will affect the result: crafts.carpentry.whittling determines the look of the clasp ('simple' in my case) and crafts.materials.needlework the stitching ('uneven' in my case).

You may also remember that there are four colours for a rokshial crystal, whether big or small: yellow, green, blue and red. Depending on the one you find, the preservation magic is different: they will be vacuum, acidic, icy and fiery preservation respectively (mine was blue). Every time you open the sack you get a message:

A shock of frigid air escapes from the dark violet wizard's lunch sack as it opens.

At the bottom you can enjoy an iconograph of my own one.

Help Information:

Wurphle's Packed Lunch - crafts a lunchsack for keeping your lunch in

This spell helps you craft a lunchsack using a hubland bear fur, sapient pearwood seed, wood riving and a large rhokshial crystal. A threaded needle and a knife are also required, but not consumed.

The resulting lunchsack will keep food magically fresh using the power of the large rhokshial crystal. Its appearance will vary depending on the colour of the bear fur, the colour of the crystal, the type of wood riving and the type of thread on the needle.

Doctor Kelleflump's Deadly Demon

What's it called? Doctor Kelleflump's Deadly Demon (in short, DKDD)

What does it do? It kills people, and is one of the best spells for doing this in the Disc. Technically speaking, it brings forth a demon that attacks your intended target (most of the time; a non trivial number of times, it attacks you). It only attacks one target at a time.

What does it require? A heart (consumed in the process). An optional and very handy extra is casting it while wearing a darkened silver amulet, which will protect you from (some) backfires and will eventually melt after a certain number of uses.

What skills do I need? Dancing, Cursing, Summoning, Abjuring, Banishing

Has it worked? You'll know if it didn't... A correct output will read something like this:

You trace out complex runes on the ground with your feet.
You speak horrible names and blasphemous rites.

You squeeze the heart in your hand, calling forth demonic power.
You order the gathering shadows to destroy the troll bodyguard. 

You scream: Avaunt, foul spirit!

A mass of shadow suddenly comes alive, forming into humanoid shape. 

 With a terrible laugh it hurls itself towards the troll bodyguard. 

The demon chews on the troll bodyguard's face; he screams horribly. 

The demon slowly fades back into shadow, leaving behind a sickly smell and an oily feel to the air.

In this example, I have chosen one of 7 possible damage messages. This is one is the second highest, and sometimes comes with a funny aftereffect:

The demon appears to have bitten off the troll bodyguard's nose!

The seven + one damage messages you can get are (in what I think is damage order, from least to most):

A patch of shadow starts to form, but slowly melts again, leaving only a faint stench of evil.

The demon flicks the mercenary's ear, hard. 

The demon sucker-punches the huge troll. 

The demon rends the lumbering troll with its claws. 

The demon cruelly punctures the angry troll fighter with razor-sharp claws, tearing stone flesh apart.

The demon shreds the hulking troll with razor-sharp claws, sinking fangs into his stony flesh. 

The demon chews on the angry troll fighter's face; she screams horribly 

The demon sticks its arm entirely through the murderous fighter. You can see it on the other side!

As noted, the spell can backfire rather terribly. This comes from either failing the skillchecks, or just from the demon deciding to attack you anyway. For the latter, the amulets offer some protection.

Damage mostly comes in two forms: there's the pure damage of the demon hurting you, and there's an extra damage sometimes that comes from possession, which accumulates through time before going away, and gives some funny messages. After some time, it goes away:

A ball of shadow begins to form, and suddenly attaches itself to you! 

You feel darkness enter your inner being... 

Your head slowly rotates around in a full circle. 

You scream. 

You loudly exclaim: Ghrrzg Xrepticca R'thag R'yleh Fthaugn!

You suddenly vomit a thick green liquid that looks suspiciously like pea soup. 

You say: You are mine, all mine! 

You laugh demonically. 

You feel the nightmare presence leave your body.

Notes: This is one of two top wizard spells. I find it invaluable: even if it can backfire, it is a consistent troll-killer. It will allow you to kill things which others spells hardly dent. It does take a long time to cast, though.

Having said that, today I experienced a backfire of +2800 hps damage which almost killed me. I know other people get these regularly. I've been lucky, or the amulets and decent skill bonuses are protecting me.

Help Information:

Doctor Kelleflump's Deadly Demon - summon a demon to damage a single target.

Doctor Kelleflump's Deadly Demon is a first-order offensive spell that summons a demonic creature to attack its target.

Yordon’s Extremal Extension

 

What's it called? Yordon’s Extremal Extension (YEE for short)

What does it do? This spell is the poor brother to Booch’s Extremal Polymorphism. Like its sibling, this spell will allow you to grow an extra arm. Unlike its brother, the limb will be temporary (it will disappear after some time). Also, unlike the other spell, you can only create one extra arm: recasting the spell will just lengthen the time the new extension stays with you. If you want up to 4 extra arms, you need Booch’s.

Where is it? Spells affecting your body parts and limbs are a speciality of Djelian sorcery, so they can be found in the Institute of Illusionary Learning, within the ever changing covers of Ye Booke of Polymorphe.

What does it require? Same as Booch's: a troll arm, a human arm and a dwarf arm. All are consumed in the process. What is not required, which the other spell asks for, is the focus of an octogram.

What skills do I need? Channeling, Convoking, Evoking, Binding, Animating

Has it worked? A correct output should read something like this:

You prepare to cast Yordon's Extremal Extension. 

You check the contents of your inventory.

You fetch a troll arm from the pile of your belongings and put it on the ground. 

You find a dwarf arm from among your stuff and place it on the ground near the troll arm. 

Finally, you discover a human arm and place it on the ground so that the three arms form a triangle.

You spend several seconds admiring the gruesome picture of the arm triangle.

This will be followed by a line indicating the appearance of the extra arm, and its location. Possible places are your head, armpits, chest or neck Some examples:

A new limb growing from the centre of your stomach makes you wonder if you are still a human. 

A new limb growing from the top of your head makes you wonder if you are still a human. 

Ok, now you have an additional arm hanging from your right armpit. What's next? 

Oh my, looks like you just got an extra arm growing from the base of your neck!

After some time, the limb will go away, and you'll also get a message warning you like these:

You feel a tingling sensation in your chest arm as it detaches itself from your body and falls to the ground. 

You feel thaumic energy leaving your body. 

You feel a tingling sensation in your stomach arm as it detaches itself from your body and falls to the ground. 

You feel thaumic energy leaving your body. 

You feel a dull pain in your forehead arm. 

You feel thaumic energy leaving your body. 

You gasp in astonishment as your forehead arm decides to abandon you. 

You feel thaumic energy leaving your body.

Whatever is being held with the hand will fall to the ground, and can shatter. Be careful!

Notes: This is a curious spell, but I find neither it nor its sibling particularly useful. The only advantage of extra arms is that you can hold more stuff (including weapons), but you are very likely to suffer from dexterity bonuses which offset any advantage, and the place where the arm grows will make it impossible to wear certain things. Besides (that's an issue of Booch's, not of Yordon's), you can actually lose in combat your new and your original limbs!

Help Information:

Yordon's Extremal Extension and Booch's Extremal Polymorphism

These spells let you grow extra limbs, which could come in handy in a fight or when carrying grocery bags.

Worstler's Advanced Metallurgical Glance

What's it called? Worstler's Advanced Metallurgical Glance (in short, WAMG)

What does it do? This spell is the older brother of its similarly named Worstler's Elementary Mineralogical Glance. Just as that spell allows you to scry into a rock that you have previously imprinted (through Amazing Silicate Blorper) with a room, this spell does the same, but for some piece of jewellery that you have turned into a place's blorple through the spell Al Hrahaz's Scintillating Blorper.

What does it require? Obviously, a blorpled piece of jewellery

What skills do I need? Animating, Divining, Scrying

Has it worked? A correct output should read something like this:

You prepare to cast Worstler's Advanced Metallurgical Glance on the ruby ring.

> You call to the knowledge within the ruby ring.

You think of the location encoded in the ruby ring.

You stare at the ruby ring.

The ruby ring seems to urge you to gaze into it.

gaze into casino

You see a vision in the ruby ring:

The foyer of the Diamond City Casino is a lavish affair in red velvet drapes, golden ropes and beautiful looking staff cajoling, begging and pleading with people wandering in to spend all their money on drinks, slots and cards.  In fact, perhaps it could be fun to go and hang around at the bar and have a drink or two, sampling some of the slot machines and poker games in the process.  Most people enter the Casino after getting this far, so it would be silly not to just go with the flow now...  Wouldn't it?

There are three obvious exits: east, southeast and west.

A security guard is standing discreetly by the entrance.

Notes: If a room is protected, you are likely to get a message like this when trying to look at it:

The emerald ring's surface goes blurry, but refuses to show anything of value.

Help Information:

Worstler's Advanced Metallurgical Glance - see a distant location. 

Worstler's Advanced Metallurgical Glance is a miscellaneous type spell that uses the blorpled jewellery at which it is cast to scry its encoded location.   

Worstler's Elementary Mineralogical Glance

What's it called?  Worstler's Elementary Mineralogical Glance (WEMG for short)

What does it do?  The beginner wizard gets two basic spells for use in traveling and scrying: Amazing Silicate Blorpler is for traveling; it allows him to turn stones, rocks and pebbles into magical items that retain the memory of locations, and on which you can cast the travelling spell, Jogloran's Portal of Cheaper Travel. Unfortunately, rocks can very easily disappear after just a few casts, so as soon as possible, the wizard should upgrade it to Al Hrahaz's Scintilating Blorper, which allows him to imprint locations on more stable rings and jewellery.

The second spell, which a beginner wizard uses for scrying, is this one. It allows him to 'see' into the room which has been imprinted into the memory of a rock via the previous spell. And like with the previous spell, Worstler's Elementary Mineralogical Glance has a big brother with a similar name which allows you to scry into blorpled jewellery.

Where is it? Being mostly a beginner's spell, it is rightly placed in the Begynners' Magick tome, at the Gym(s).

What does it require? A blorpled rock, pebble, stone.

What skills do I need? Earth, Evoking, Scrying

Has it worked? A correct output should read something like this:

cast wemg

You prepare to cast Worstler's Elementary Mineralogical Glance on the black mineral pebble.

You attempt to contact the elemental nature of the black mineral pebble.

You think of the location encoded in the black mineral pebble. 

You stare at the black mineral pebble. The black mineral pebble seems to urge you to gaze into it. 

gaze into pebble 

You see a vision in the black mineral pebble: 

This is the kitchen of the second floor flat of the Salt Shaker, complete with the ubiquitous old food smells found in every kitchen. Not much cooking goes on here as some lions have taken it over, perhaps originally drawn here by those same smells, and their idea of food is quite different from that of humans. It doesn't seem as though the clowns mind, however, as is indicated by the fluffy ball on a string they've hung from the ceiling. 

There are three obvious exits: west, north and enter door.

Notes: If a room is protected, you are likely to get a message like this when trying to look at it:

The pebble's surface goes blurry, but refuses to show anything of value.

Help Information:

Worstler's Elementary Mineralogical Glance - see a distant location.  

Worstler's Elementary Mineralogical Glance is a miscellaneous  type spell that uses the blorpled rock at which it is cast to  scry its encoded location.  

Wonker's Wicked Wobble

What's it called? Wonker's Wicked Wobble (in short, WWW)

What does it do? One of the best spells available out of the group that have being catered for the Silver Stars, Wonker's allows you to turn your opponent's weapons into rubber. The effect lasts for some time, and it has some interesting consequences:

1) The weapon adds a new line to its description, which goes as follows: "It seems to be fighting to maintain its rigidity, occasionally going completely limp and floppy, before regaining a more solid form. A pungent smell of burnt rubber wafts from it."

2) The victims will automatically attack the wizards that have 'rubberized' their weapons.

3) Rubber weapons became more cumbersome to employ and to cause damage. They became blunting objects unable to make the usual specials you are allowed with metal pieces with pointy bits (and thereby making many npc's very easy to kill). From this, it might be gathered that they aren't much use against blunt weapons.

From all this, we can gather that Wonker's is quite a useful spell as a fight-starter, and it can be very handy against rivals who like to launch lots of specials on you with swords or daggers. In a way, it works in a tandem with Stacklady's to form a group of defensive/offensive spells: both are offensive (although Stacklady's no longer causes auto-attack), but their trick is that they work not by doing damage, but by weakening or almost entirely elimating your opponent's possibility of harming you.

Where is it? One of the moulding and crafting spells, it lies inside the unnamed book that is known by some as Intermediate Artifact Magic, fourth ed., in the depths of the Unseen University Library.

What does it require? A rubber knife. In theory, most casts shouldn't consume then, but be ready for very frequent replacing. Miscasts, or even good casts can end up with the knives either melting away, bouncing the rubbery effect back on your own weapons and/or turning into a peppermint (at least, something nice to eat...).

What skills do I need? Gold, Binding, Rod, Enchanting

Has it worked? The proper output should read something like this:

You prepare to cast Wonker's Wicked Wobble on the xxx (weapon in enemy).
You wobble from side to side and bring the malleability of gold to the forefront of your mind.
You draw on the floppiness of the rubber knife.
You weave a rubbery replica of the xxx from the strands of your thoughts.
You project an image of the model which floats above you.
The rubbery creation flies into the xxx's rubbery xxx, and with a 'Glup!', melds into it.

Help Information:

Very little is known about Wicked Wobble. Some sketchy notes for the spell were discovered when they found the deceased Wonker - well a rubber statue that resembled his university iconograph. Nasty things those magical backfires.

All that is known, is that the spell can be targetted on weapons (normally in the inventories of enemies) to alter their structure.

Example

cast Wonker's Wicked Wobble on hairpin in aquilo

Pragi’s Molten Gaze

What's it called? Pragi’s Molten Gaze (in brief, PMG)

What does it do? A recently introduced spell, this lesser brother of the Pragi fireballs will help you changing the colour of your eyes. The colour is determined by the current one present in the shimmering glass nugget you need for the casting (these colours can be fixed into one you like, although there's the danger of blowing up the nugget if you try with insufficient skills). A good cast will add a line of description to your appearance that goes like this: "The irises of his eyes glow with a strange emerald green light."

The cast will also make the nugget temporarily 'colourless', as a clear glass nugget. This effect doesn't last long.

Overall, a new addition to the toy spells. Not much use in it, really, but some people like to have flashing eyes, and there's no coloured lenses in the disc...

Where is it? We're in the toy-spell arena here. It can be found, therefore, in all the Gym tomes at the magical teaching institutions, inside the Begynners' Magick tome.

What does it require? A shimmering glass nugget (the expensive things you buy for casting the light moth spell), which isn't consumed in the process.

What skills do I need? Animating, Fire, Evoking, Channeling

Has it worked? The proper output should read something like this:

You prepare to cast Pragi's Molten Gaze.
You toss a shimmering glass nugget into the air, where it hangs suspended in front of your eyes.
You fix the nugget with your gaze causing it to spin around on its axis.
It spins faster and faster, blurring as it returns to a molten form.
You probe the molten nugget, seeking out its chromatic essence.
You create a conduit between yourself and the nugget, urging it to release its colour.
The colour drains from the nugget and a flash of emerald green light shoots out from it and into your eyes.
Your eyes start to glow emerald green.
The clear glass nugget cools and solidifies as it drops back down.

Help Information:

Pragi's Molten Gaze - change the colour of your eyes.

Pragi's Molten Gaze is a miscellaneous spell that, when cast successfully, drains the colour of a shimmering glass nugget into the caster's eyes, causing them to glow. The nugget will regain its colour after a short amount of time.

Von Hasselhoff's Skin Condition

What's it called? Von Hasselhoff’s Skin Condition (in short, VHSC)

What does it do? This is one of the necromancer spells. When cast on someone, it causes them a horrible skin disease that lowers their stats and gives some damage over time.
The spell doesn't cause much damage, but it can be annoying, as its effects take some time to pass. If the component (a whole human skin) didn't weigh so much, it would probably get a great deal more use than at present, when it is seldom seen except as an expedient for taskmastering some healing while on the way to other spells (like Wungles's).

Where is it? Part of the set of spells that torment the flesh and employ dead corpses as component source, it belongs to the Body Parts for the Advanced Student grimoire, at the Unseen University Library.

What does it require? A human skin, which is consumed in the process.

What skills do I need? Convoking, Healing, Charming, Binding

Has it worked? The proper output should read something like this:

You prepare to cast Von Hasselhoff's Skin Condition on xxx (target)
You roll the skin up and tear several holes into it.
You take the rolled up skin and slowly twist it until it begins to break and bleed.
You utter random magical-sounding gibberish from deep within your throat.
You stroke the skin gently then point at xxx.
A wave of darkness washes over xxx and after it passes you see xxx’s skin seem to twist around her/his body, tearing painfully away from the flesh and fat underneath and leaving horrible wounds in its wake.

Help Information

Von Hasselhoff's Skin Condition - Give the target a horrible skin condition.

Like so many inventions, Von Hasslehoff's spell was a failed result of another experiment. Attempting to cure acne actually resulted in this horrific skin disease that is painful and debilitating to the target. Von Hasselhoff died famous among necromancers, but still pimply.

Union of the Phoenix and Divine Dragon

What's it called? Union of the Phoenix and Divine Dragon (in brief, UPDD)

What does it do? This is one of the two light spells that are available for wizards. If Master Woddeley's creates a blue light that follows you around and lightens the place before it goes out, this one summons a moth with similar effects.
Both spells are very similar, the differences being quite minor. The Union is a bit more demanding in skills, gp expenditure, mindspace and components. The compensation tends to be that it is longer lasting, can be cast on someone else, and the light source is less spammy. It also has a very pretty hue, depending on the colour of the nugget when the spell is cast. As I haven't used it in a long time, I don't remember if the moth keeps changing colours, like the nuggets, but I think they do.
Overall, the spell is nice and pretty, but not much use. Woddeley's is more handy, and you can also buy a permalight to avoid day-night problems and have that extra mindspace freed.

Where is it? It counts as an agatean addition to the regular run of spells, so it lies inside the Illusionary Arts grimoire, at the Bes Pelargic Wizard's Guild.

What does it require? A glass nugget, which isn't consumed in the process.

What skills do I need? Channeling, Summoning, Charming

Has it worked? The proper output should read something like this:

You prepare to cast Union of the Phoenix and Divine Dragon on xxx crystal nugget.
Magical, mystical forms appear in your mind.
Grasping the glowing glass nugget, you hold it above you.
You whistle into the wind a calm and peaceful tune.
A (xxx) moth flutters into the area and flits towards you.

Help Information

Union of the Phoenix and Divine Dragon - Summons a moth to light your way.

This spell will summon forth a glowing moth. It will heartily stay by your side until it's summoned elsewhere.