Luquayle's Longevity-Enhancing Ballast

What's it called? Luquayle's Longevity-Enhancing Ballast (or LLEB for short)               

What does it do? It makes a shield heavier and sturdier. Why would you wish to do that, you might ask? Well, this is due to the characteristics of magically floating a shield for self-defense using Endorphin's Floating Friend. Heavier shields are more difficult to float but resist more damage before being knocked out of orbit. Once you acquire more proficiency in magical defenses, you regularly need to 'upgrade' to a heavier shield and abandon your previous one. This new spell allows you make the previous shield heavier, and therefore, to continue using it, which you might like to do for a variety of sensible reasons (old shield looks cool, the recommended upgrade is too expensive or it is too scarce...).

Where is it? It is one of the new hedge-wizard spells that are to be found within the pages of the Pracktical Hedgecrafte grimoire, in Skund.

What does it require? a sliver of octiron and a riving of ironwood, both of which are consumed ('merged' with the shield) in the process.

What skills do I need? gold, turning, enchanting, water, binding

Has it worked? A successful output should look something like this:

You prepare to cast Luquayle's Longevity-Enhancing Ballast on the antique round shield.

> You hold the octiron sliver in one hand, urging it to liquify like molten gold.

Holding the ironwood riving horizontally, you command it to spin in place in front of you.

You slowly draw the liquid octiron across the full length of the spinning ironwood, coaxing the two to merge into a single, miraculous amalgam.

You stretch out the liquid octironwood into a thin sheet and wrap the antique round shield up in it completely.

With a final exertion of your will, you bind the octironwood to the antique round shield and watch it sink below the surface.

The antique round shield feels sturdier now.

Notes: A line of description is added to the shield on whom the spell has been cast:

Occasional shimmers of multi-coloured light ripple across its surface.

The spell can be cast multiple times on the same shield, making it heavier each time (and perhaps increasing the casting requirements? Needs to be tested). A failure brings the shield upon your head, destroying it in the process.

The weight increase, in my case, was roughly of 3 pounds (about 7 before casting, about 10 after casting). I imagine it would be the same for everyone.

Help Information:

Luquayle's Longevity-Enhancing Ballast

A second-order miscellaneous spell that reinforces a shield. This process causes the shield to weigh more than before, but also increases the amount of protection it provides. In most cases, this process will also increase the overall durability of the shield.    

 It is possible to cast the spell multiple times on the same shield, but there is an upper limit to the amount of additional mass that any shield can be expected to accommodate.

This spell requires a sliver of octiron and a riving of ironwood to cast.  Both of these components will be consumed in the process of casting the spell.   

Ridcully's Travelling Furniture Manufactory

What's it called?  Ridcully's Travelling Furniture Manufactory (or RTFM for short)

What does it do? It brings into being a very comfortable chair, which you can sit on and relax, while enjoying a nice cuppa and a snack.

Where is it? This is one of the new hedge spells that you will find inside the bark-like pages of Pracktical Hedgecrafte tome, in Skund.

What does it require? A sore bum. No, really - it is component free.

What skills do I need? chanting, dancing, conjuring, banishing, charming

Has it worked? A chair should appear in front of you. A successful output looks like this:

You prepare to cast Ridcully's Travelling Furniture Manufactory.

> You clear your throat and declaim a thunderous address to the abstract concept of comfort and ease.

You gesture broadly, describing the concept of an armchair to the listening universe.

You reach out with your will and force the waiting potential into the shape of a comfy armchair.

You sense eldritch creatures from the Dimensions of Endless Discomfort crowding in, and send a tendril of magical influence to banish them.

You project a feeling of welcome and ease, offering the nascent comfy armchair a home in the real world.

A luxurious hawthorn petal white armchair falls out of a hole in the air with a THUMP.

Notes:

Each chair is slightly different. The colours will depend on your order (which means I get different shades of white, mostly), but stuff like wooden material, stuffing, decoration and legs vary randomly. This chair I brought to being looked like this:

This solid wood-framed armchair has been very generously upholstered in hawthorn petal white wool, stuffed with lavender and decorated with brass studs.  The arms are broad enough for a tankard or a tea mug, and the wide-set legs have been carved with marvellous skill into the shape of pig's trotters.

There is nothing on the luxurious hawthorn petal white armchair.

You can only bring one chair at a time into a room, although other wizards can add chairs to yours. You (and others) can also dismiss them, at the cost of some guild points:

dismiss armchair

You get off the luxurious hawthorn petal white armchair and stand up.

With a flicker of your will, you prise open a gateway out of the reality we know.  You twist your tongue around the ancient language of furniture, and tell the luxurious hawthorn petal white armchair "You can go home now".  It shuffles off through the gateway, dissolving once again into pure potential.

A curiosity: if you cast the spell while floating over water, what gets created is actually a duck!

In the water just below and near the docks.  Huge numbers of now silent boats and ships almost block the banks of the river completely and what little space is left is cluttered by floating debris.  Although it isn't as hectic as during the day, roaming sailors and less than legal traders still keep the place busy.  A flimsy layer of ice has formed on the surface, but the constant traffic of ships keeps it very thin.  The silhouette and lights of Ankh Bridge lie a bit off to the east.

It is a very cold autumn prime's night with almost no wind and medium cloud cover.

There are five obvious exits: down, north, east, south and west.

A giant luxurious cloud white rubber duck is floating here.

> 

l duck

This enormous cloud white rubber duck floats comfortably on the water, huge webbed feet dipping low to stabilise the weight it is designed to bear.  The wings have been shaped into a comfortable back rest, and the head bears a noble but playful expression on its beak.

> The giant luxurious cloud white rubber duck is swept west by the current.

Help Information:

Ridcully's Travelling Furniture Manufactory                                                    

Right.  Write that my spell summons a comfy chair. Have you got that?                     

What do you mean more detail?  Alright.  Say you're sitting by a river somewhere, or in a really boring meeting with those hard wooden chairs and your donkey is falling asleep. What you need is a comfy armchair!   So you cast my spell, which is a first order miscellaneous spell, and just like that, you have an armchair.                                                                                                                

When you don't need it any more, you can dismiss it to make sure nobody else sits on it.  

Alright, we're done, what's for elevenses?  What do you mean the little box is still recording?  Don't write that bit.  Turn it off.   

       

Hedging your bets (and 3)

So here we are, in the magical tree! After you've crossed the stained glass door, it transforms into a curtain of woven creepers, and you find yourself in the following landing:

This is the interior of a massive tree, with natural wooden walls rising around you and sturdy roots burrowing into the ground below.  Archways to the east and west look to lead to a study area and some sort of shop, respectively, while an earthen staircase leads down beneath ground level.  A doorway of woven creepers appears to lead outside.

There are four obvious exits: east, west, down and out.

Although not obviously visible, checking the walls and the vines and branches therein gives a hint of an upper floor, with a series of smaller branches forming a crude ladder of sorts that gives access to the upper area. It does require some tree climbing skills (164 bonuses are enough, although you'll have to try a couple of times) for going up and down. We've already shown the wooden platform there, along with the hedge grimoire it contains.

Back to the landing, the western room contains a cosy magic shop, with Celestia the Blue tending to it (actually, she spends most of the time daydreaming). It stocks some wands, new and fancy jewellery, inks, a couple of new staves and some golden spheres one can use for creating some magical effects in the room beyond a magical portal.

If instead one moves east, you enter a little study area were young hedgies can learn some skills and commands from Jesse the Green, along with some desks and a bookshelf teeming with volumes about magic, hunting and fieldcraft, woodworking and finesmithing.

Should one choose to go downstairs in the landing, the earthen staircase takes you down to the roots of the matter, and you find yourself in another landing with directions up, down, east and west. Going down proves to be restricted to hedgies, though, and if you try, you'll get to the same place you were in already: You descend the stairs into the mist.  As the mist slowly clears, you see that you've managed to descend the steps into the same room you were just in.

On the western side there is a wood and ironworking workshop, tended by Camanor the Brown. Besides repairing stuff, there are tools for sale related to these handicrafts, some of them new.

If, instead, you choose to go east, you encounter the typical gym-training facility of most wizard guilds, including the Beginner's tome of magic and the trapped demon:

The lichen-covered walls and the wooden floor in this room have a strange, unnatural pattern to them.  Scuffed runes dotted around the floor glow with a faint, sickly light, adding to the overall feeling of unease that this place exudes.  The focal point of the room is the multitude of giant octiron chains shackling a foul-looking demon to the ground.

There is one obvious exit: west.

Ny'Ogre is shackled here with great octiron chains.

An open tome is sitting on a lichen-covered shelf.

>

look demon

Pinkish-red, rubbery skin and an unnaturally wide smile make this repugnant creature truly unpleasant to behold.  Its eyes are no more than blood-red pinpricks that look at risk of being engulfed by a hideous, oversized maw.  It is shackled here with the help of great octiron chains, covered in runes of warding.  With the way it is smiling, you could almost believe that it is happy about its current predicament, or perhaps it is just preoccupied with thinking about what it might do were it to escape.

It is in good shape.

It is shackled here with great octiron chains.

Finally, although non-hedges cannot access what is presumably an exclusive lounge, there is a room to the west of it that may be used for teleporting around the Disc, and getting to at least three other wizard guilds (Unseen University, Creel Springs and Ephebe), and which can be accessed by others through a portal and subsequently blorpled. As for the lounge, Aiden was kind enough to provide the following description:

This room seems to be the one concession that the local hedge wizards have made to comfort and aesthetics inside the tree.  Sturdy rustic armchairs are dotted about the place, and a few thick, fur rugs have been placed in front of them for added comfort.  A long bar takes up most of the north wall, with various cabinets and cupboards behind it. A curious hatch occupies the east wall near the bar.

The teleport room looks like this:

This room is bare enough that it would look downright boring were it not for the huge, complex octogram covering most of the floor.  The only other feature of note is a mist-shrouded archway in the east wall.

Ralstorphine's Refreshing Draught

What's it called? Ralstorphine's Refreshing Draught (RRD for short)

What does it do? It brings into being a cup filled with ginger beer, which you can then proceed to consume. It tastes delicious! Besides, I imagine you could use the cup for when you are in need of any container (like if you want to try the herbal tea at the shed before the hedge maze).

Where is it? This is one of the new hedge wizard spells that lies lurking within the bark-encrusted covers of the Pracktical Hedgecrafte volume, in Skund.

What does it require? It is component-free!

What skills do I need? water, evoking, summoning

Has it worked? Well, if you find a cup with ginger beer in your hands, the answer is yes. The casting messages look like this:

cast Ralstorphine's Refreshing Draught

You prepare to cast Ralstorphine's Refreshing Draught.

> Reaching into the rivers that flow between the planes we know, you spin a tendril of water into a hovering orb.

Recalling adventures in summer meadows, you infuse the hovering orb of water with the essence of leaf and spice.

Remembering that you need something to put the drink in, you reach into the crockery dimension and grab the first thing you see, holding it out for the liquid to fall into.

Your driftwood grey cup of ginger beer quivers gently and falls still.

Notes: 

What does the cup and the drink look like:

l cup

This sturdy driftwood grey stoneware cup is gently rounded to fit in the hand, and large enough to quench almost anyone's thirst.  The glossy surface has been decorated with a stylized pattern of blossoms.

It is in excellent condition.

The driftwood grey cup of ginger beer is completely full with one cup of ginger beer.

It is completely full.

> 

l beer in cup

This is about one cup of sparkling golden ginger beer.  Despite the name, it contains no alcohol whatsoever, which has confused many a rural youth more used to ginger wine.

Each cup will have a different colour. I was misled by my first two cups, which produced different shades of grey (driftwood grey and raindrop grey). Third one was deep brown. I imagine you go through all available colors, like those for inks.

The help file also gives a interesting warning about what can happen if you don't have enough summoning skills for the spell. I haven't failed it, but I'd guess you might get the cup going away instantly, perhaps with the ginger beer falling on your clothes.

Help Information:

Ralstorphine's Refreshing Draught                                                              

Ralstorphine's Refreshing Draught is a first order miscellaneous spell which summons a cup of ginger beer for the wizard who wants a refreshing drink and doesn't have a fancy hall full of servants to get it for them.                                                      

Warning: entities from the Plane of Crockery may get bored if insufficiently strongly summoned, and return there.    

Hedging your bets (2)

 

Tall hedges surround this small clearing, their autumn-brown leaves feeling like a protective wall against the outside world.  Fallen leaves and round grey gravel lie underfoot, branching off in six directions towards wildflower-strewn pathways, and a green door leads into the modest hut to the south.

It is a very cold autumn prime's afternoon with a gentle breeze and some puffy clouds.

There are seven obvious exits: corncockle path, daisy path, dandelion path, larkspur path, lily path, poppy path and south.

Once you are beyond the northern exit of the aforementioned shed/hut, you will find yourself face-to-face with a hedge maze, with different meandering paths and glades. Each path contains one main type of flower, and you will need some basic foraging skills not to get sidetracked.

If properly followed, the larkspur path will bring you back to the start of the maze, from which you can go back south into the shed. As for the other ones, this is where they'll take you:

Corncockle

Tall hedges surround this small clearing, their autumn-brown leaves feeling like a protective wall against the outside world.  Fallen leaves and round grey gravel lie underfoot, leading up to an open glade.  A carved wooden statue of a stag grazes peacefully in the centre, proud head lowered to crop the grass.

Not much to be seen in this clearing, beyond a nice stag statue. I have found no secret passages or ways of doing anything to the stag. Its antlers are pretty sharp!

Dandelion

Tall hedges surround this small clearing, their autumn-brown leaves feeling like a protective wall against the outside world.  Fallen leaves and round grey gravel lie underfoot, encircling a flourishing vegetable garden.  A tall apple tree grows from the centre of the circular garden, boughs spreading across the plants.  A selection of garden tools hang from nails driven into the trunk, and a water butt sits at one side of the glade.

There's a little garden here with some vegetables and herbs, which some tending to the space (by watering or by weeding) may allow you to gather. 

Lily

Tall hedges surround this small clearing, their autumn-brown leaves feeling like a protective wall against the outside world.  Fallen leaves and round grey gravel lie underfoot, leading up to a broad pond surrounded by rushes.  A carved wooden bench sits by the pool, beneath a willow tree whose branches brush the surface.

This is a lovely, meditative spot! Also, explore it carefully to find a two-way ticket way of travelling to the Bes Pelargic L-Space bubble.

Poppy

Tall hedges surround this small clearing, their autumn-brown leaves feeling like a protective wall against the outside world.  Fallen leaves and round grey gravel lie underfoot, leading up to an open glade.  A carved wooden statue of an elderly wizard stands here, looking over the glade with a beneficient air, and a tall-backed bench stands by the eastern hedge.

Another lovely spot with some statuary, but unlike the in the stag glade, careful looking around here with grant you a (one-way, I think) passage to the Artificer's Guild, in Sto Lat.

Daisy

Tall hedges surround this small clearing, their autumn-brown leaves feeling like a protective wall against the outside world.  Fallen leaves and round grey gravel lie underfoot, leading up to the trunk of a gigantic tree.  Set into the trunk is an arched doorway, within which a beautiful stained glass door offers entrance to what looks otherwise like a perfectly normal - if extremely large - tree.

There is the residual taste of magic in this place.

It is a very cold autumn prime's afternoon with a steady breeze and some puffy clouds.

There are seven obvious exits: corncockle path, daisy path, dandelion path, larkspur path, lily path, poppy path and enter trunk.

Arguably the most interesting space you can go to, in this glade you will find a gigantic tree which you can enter, and where the secrets of hedge wizardry will be exposed to your sight. But those inner recesses we will explore in our next and last entry on this topic. We may conclude today with a little glance at a colour-changing feline you will encounter in these walks around the forest:

l tubbstable

Mr Tubbstable Puddlesworth IV is a large and fluffy orange tabby cat, with bright green eyes and inquisitive whiskers.  He has white front paws and a white tail-tip, and he usually has mud in his fur somewhere.  Rescued from the rooms of the Dimity Professor of Counterintuitive Zoology at Unseen University, where he had been living on a diet of fish paste sandwiches, milky tea with too many sugars, and escaped lab experiments, he now lives his best and happiest life with the hedge wizards in the forest of Skund.  Despite the many examples of creatures exposed to ambient magic developing human-level intelligence, all Tubbstable has acquired from his experiences is the ability to walk through closed doors and manifest the occasional basic spell.

He is in good shape.

He is stretched out lengthwise.

He looks very magical in his little pointy wizard's hat.

Wearing : a tiny wizard's hat.

> Tubbstable the Formerly Violet returns to his natural colour.

Feyfirkin's Errant Trainee Collection Herbage

What's it called?  Feyfirkin's Errant Trainee Collection Herbage (FETCH for short. Also, pun intended, I expect).

What does it do? In a way, it is an inverse portal. It send an 'arcane bloom' to someone, who then has the option of grasping it (and being taken to the caster's place) grasping and uprooting it (same, but stops any nasty meaning who might be at your previous location from following you) o uproot or ignore it (nothing happens).

Where is it? It is one of the recently discover hedge wizardry spells contained in the Pracktical Hedgecrafte volume in the upper reaches of a certain magical tree. 

What does it require? A wooden staff, which is not consumed in the process.

What skills do I need? divining, staff, convoking, channeling, evoking

Has it worked? This is the output from my first casting, spell Creator's intervention in the chat included!

You prepare to cast Feyfirkin's Errant Trainee Collection Herbage on Flatulent Thalic.

> > You close your eyes and send out mental feelers, trying to pinpoint Flatulent Thalic.

You plant your staff firmly on the ground and instruct it to act as a focal point for distant arcane energies.

(Wizards) Kadath's wispy voice comes from the Sung family crest, saying: FETCH shouldn't allow anyone to leave an area that doesn't allow portalling out or enter an area that doesn't allow portalling in ^_^.  If you somehow manage to circumvent this, please report it as a bug :)

You trace a route through sub-dimensional space that links your location with that of Flatulent Thalic.

With a connection in place, you prime the area around Flatulent Thalic, charging it with magical potential.

With a grunt of effort, you start to manifest a physical totem at Flatulent Thalic's location.

You feel the connection between your location and Flatulent Thalic's solidify.

Notes:

The spell will fail if either the caster and/or the receiver is in a no-portalling location. In the first case, you get the following message:

Your current location seems to resist being linked via magical means.

In the second, you get the following message:

Some kind of thaumic inteference prevents you from reaching that location.

The bloom will look like the staining present in the caster's staff. From the receiver's side, the apparition looks like this:

An Institute turquoise arcane bloom sprouts from the ground here, growing rapidly to about knee height.

l bloom

This otherworldly piece of flora consists of thousands of long, Institute turquoise stems protruding from a single point and spreading out to create a roughly elliptical shape.  At the tip of each stem is a tiny, delicate flower that tessellates almost perfectly with its neighbour.  When viewed all together, the various shades of the tiny flowers seem to form an image of some sort.

You could try inspecting it more closely to make sense of the displayed image.

> 

inspect bloom more closely

The pattern in the flowers shows a simple depiction of an arid plain.  The glimmer of sentience within the Institute turquoise arcane bloom tells you that it was created by Octograver Ochrion for your benefit.  You feel that you could grasp the bloom if you were so inclined, in order to visit the place it portrays.  Alternatively, you could uproot the bloom if you don't wish to be bothered by it.

You inspect the Institute turquoise arcane bloom.

> 

grasp bloom

You roughly grasp the Institute turquoise arcane bloom and immediately feel yourself being pulled through interdimensional space.

(...)

Feeling dizzy and a little drained from the trip, you stagger forwards to find yourself in a new location.

You see a cloud of flower blossoms forming here, materialising into the shape of Grimoire the alligator.

Grimoire the alligator stares at Octograver Ochrion.

In case the receiver chooses to ignore the boom, it will go away after some time with this message:

The butterscotch yellow arcane bloom shrinks rapidly until there is no longer any sign of it ever having been here.

Help Information:

Feyfirkin's Errant Trainee Collection Herbage                                                  

A zeroth-order miscellaneous spell that aids the caster in retrieving their lost apprentice.  The spell sends a clump of herbage (namely an arcane bloom) to the location  of the inept lost soul that they can use to quickly travel back to their mentor's side.   

The apprentice need only grasp the arcane bloom to be transported.  Should the apprentice not wish to be followed by any pesky bandits, yetis or particularly dexterous wolves, they may uproot the bloom as they grasp it, to prevent unwanted stowaways.                     

Finally, should the apprentice be feeling particularly wilful, or indeed disagree as to whether they are in fact in need of rescue, they may simply uproot the bloom without travelling at all.                                                                        

This spell requires the caster to have a wooden staff on hand to be cast successfully.  

Hedging your bets

So, the Hedge wizard's main place in Skund Forest has been made accessible! In a series of posts, we will be taking a look at it, and giving some snapshots of what you can expect to encounter on your way there. You've already seen the topmost platform of a certain magical tree, but let's start from scratch.

You should first head your steps towards the village of Pekan Ford. From there, you should travel in a general northeast direction, past the wolf trail, until you get to a crossroads from which a small building can be discerned:

Here, the deep rutted, well used road continues off into the distance.  The odd spring flower lines the side of the road, a welcome change from the churned up muddy trackway and dense coverage of fallen leaves.  Skund Forest spreads out to the east, southwest and southeast, a small building lies to the west and some plains lie to the north and northwest.  Ten miles to the northwest are the Carrack Mountains.

It is a very chilly autumn prime's afternoon with almost no wind and scattered puffy clouds.

There are three obvious exits: west, journey south and journey northeast.

>

l building

The building looks well-constructed, albeit rather more elaborate than one might expect to find in the middle of a forest.

Taking the route to the west, you go through a  deeply shaded holloway, a leafy tunnel of sorts with high earthen banks that takes you towards the mysterious construction.

The path ends on a shaded dell outside an unassuming building that looks like little more than a garden shed, with a bench, lamp and book scraper outside. The look of the last one should starting ringing your alarm bells, though:

Some hedge wizard with quite the sense of humour has forged this boot scraper in the shape of a pointy hat, complete with the Unseen University crest on it.

Entering into is the cosy wooden hut - almost a shed, really - you find yourself in a comfy country kitchen.  The walls are hung with colourful paintings of various herbs and vegetables, and a sideboard bears a vase of dried flowers flanked by a steaming teapot and a plate of scones.  A window looks out into the Forest of Skund by the south door, and another provides a preview of the gardens to the north. Trying to eat some of the scones (delicious, by the way!) gives you more clues about the magical unnaturalness of the place:

You take a tasty-looking scone from the plate.  A drawer of the sideboard slides out with a pointed creak, and you drop 10p into it.  The drawer closes again with a satisfied sort of noise.

> 

l drawer

The drawer is made from the same Skund pine as the rest of the sideboard.  It absolutely definitely does not have teeth, or any arboreal equivalent of them.

The hut also includes in another room The Multicoloured Swap Shop, tended to by Madrigal the Red, who is also rather talkative and willing to give you a few tips about wizardry and the place you've arrived to:

The overwhelming theme of this shop is colour.  Well, and shelves, but mostly colour.  The north wall has been painted in swirling patterns of red and brown, splashed with occasional touches of gold, while the west wall is green and blue.  A square purple counter sits in the southwest corner, completely failing to unify the blue and green with the yellow and white flowers that cover the south wall, whilst the east wall is painted in jagged stripes of light and dark grey.  Overall, the general effect is like being entirely surrounded by a herd of zebras on strong acid.

There is one obvious exit: east.

Madrigal the Red is lounging beside the counter.

A cluster of glimmering stars is swirling overhead and a polygonal crate is sitting in a corner.

> 

l madrigal

Relatively short and slender, with a waxed and curled moustache and a perfectly groomed beard, Madrigal Ogg has come a long way from Lancre Town.  Since even the most tomboyish of young girls' best chance of escaping wifedom and motherhood was to become a witch, and a keen analytical mind could only be an asset, that seemed like an obvious choice... until Granny Weatherwax laid eyes on him.  "Entirely the wrong mindset for witching," she said.  "Go and be a wizard instead.  Heaven knows they need some good Lancre oak around the place.  And another thing.  You're not a girl.  Stop listening to everyone's expectations and go be who you really are."

He is in good shape.

He is lounging beside the counter.

Holding : an oak walking staff (left hand).

Wearing : a pair of poppy-field boots, a pair of black jeans and a moorland Ohulan tweed jacket.

Leaving the hut through a different door from that which you entered it leads just just opposite a magical hedge maze, but what lies inside and beyond will the topic of another entry...

Books - Pracktical Hedgecrafte

A new wizard guild has been discovered, hiding in a magical tree close to Pekan Ford! It is the glory of hedge wizardry, and in the following days, I will be describing it in detail. For today, just take a look at the topmost platform I've been able to climb, which holds a new grimoire for wizardry, and 4 new spells!!

This wooden platform is most certainly not a library.  It has no rows of shelves, no desks, no chairs, no densely-packed volumes or tomes and certainly no reason for the already mind-bending physics of this giant tree to be stretched even further with the introduction of any of that L-Space nonsense.  There does appear to be one single, solitary book though.  It sits on a wooden lectern in the centre of the platform.

There are no obvious exits.

A closed bark-bound book is on the lectern.

> You hear a faint scratching sound, although it's impossible to pinpoint which direction it's coming from.

l book

This book looks more grown than manufactured.  A thick layer of bark serves as a front and back cover, and the pages seem less like paper and more like impossibly-thin layers of wood, as if cut directly from a thick tree trunk.

Motes of octarine light dance around the book.

It appears to have something written on it.

It is closed.

> 

read book

You read the cover of the closed bark-bound book:

Written in dark lettering:

Pracktical Hedgecrafte.

open book

You open the bark-bound book to page 1.

> 

read book

You read page one of the open bark-bound book:

 Table of Contents 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

  2 ... Luquayle's Longevity-Enhancing Ballast

  3 ... Ridcully's Travelling Furniture Manufactory

  4 ... Feyfirkin's Errant Trainee Collection Herbage

  5 ... Ralstorphine's Refreshing Draught