Von Hasselhoff's Skin Condition

What's it called? Von Hasselhoff’s Skin Condition (in short, VHSC)

What does it do? This is one of the necromancer spells. When cast on someone, it causes them a horrible skin disease that lowers their stats and gives some damage over time.
The spell doesn't cause much damage, but it can be annoying, as its effects take some time to pass. If the component (a whole human skin) didn't weigh so much, it would probably get a great deal more use than at present, when it is seldom seen except as an expedient for taskmastering some healing while on the way to other spells (like Wungles's).

Where is it? Part of the set of spells that torment the flesh and employ dead corpses as component source, it belongs to the Body Parts for the Advanced Student grimoire, at the Unseen University Library.

What does it require? A human skin, which is consumed in the process.

What skills do I need? Convoking, Healing, Charming, Binding

Has it worked? The proper output should read something like this:

You prepare to cast Von Hasselhoff's Skin Condition on xxx (target)
You roll the skin up and tear several holes into it.
You take the rolled up skin and slowly twist it until it begins to break and bleed.
You utter random magical-sounding gibberish from deep within your throat.
You stroke the skin gently then point at xxx.
A wave of darkness washes over xxx and after it passes you see xxx’s skin seem to twist around her/his body, tearing painfully away from the flesh and fat underneath and leaving horrible wounds in its wake.

Help Information

Von Hasselhoff's Skin Condition - Give the target a horrible skin condition.

Like so many inventions, Von Hasslehoff's spell was a failed result of another experiment. Attempting to cure acne actually resulted in this horrific skin disease that is painful and debilitating to the target. Von Hasselhoff died famous among necromancers, but still pimply.

Narquin’s Mist of Doom

What's it called? Narquin’s Mist of Doom (in short, NMD)

What does it do? It causes your opponents and yourself a bit of damage. Generally, more to them than to you. The mechanism is as follows: first one cuts oneself, and from the blood invokes a poisonous mist. Then, the said mist is sent towards your adversaries.
As to the uses of the spell, I tended to find it reasonably handy at low levels. A newbie wizard that wants to get beyond the Occular Lance but is still unable to Pragi can make a certain use of this spell and the fire-bunnies. The main handicap, aside from the relatively low damage, is the auto-damage made in casting, which can stop the spell. This can generally be avoided with some more robustness (i.e. other.health).
The mist also affects trolls efectively, so if you have the will and the mindspace, it might come handy as a troll-finisher, if you don't have or don't want to spend torches and candles...

Where is it? We're talking about some interesting and amusing nigromancy here, so the spell lies inside the Body Parts for the Advanced Student grimoire, at the Unseen University Library.

What does it require? A knife. And having blood in your veins (some hps are spent). If you are under the protection of a troll skin, it might be necessary to use the jagged sparky knife, but it isn't recommended (some say the uses of the knife weaken the trollskin).

What skills do I need? Summoning, Healing, Abjuring, Animating

Has it worked? The proper output should read something like this:

You prepare to cast Narquin’s Mist of Doom on xxx.
You beckon to the spirits of blood.
You cut your arm and let your blood spill out and pool at your feet.
You call to the bood to rise forth and bond with air.
You send forth the mists to consume xxx.
The black mist washes over xxx causing his skin to crackle and burn as if it were splashed with acid.

Help Information:

Narquin's Mist of Doom - Damage yourself and your opponent.

Narquin's Mist of Doom is a first-order spell that uses the caster's blood to cause DOOM to a target.

Myrandil's Vicious Seizure

What's it called? Myrandil's Vicious Seizure (in short, MVS)

What does it do? Well, it is a very 'handy' (haw, haw) spell. Myrandil's will make a bunch of dead hands sprout from the earth, in a variable number (probably dependant on skills). The said zombie hands will grab the ankles of all the people in the room (two hands per person), and stop them from walking out of your hits and spells. Or at least, try to; the retaining capability is a skillcheck of your magic.offensive bonus (in the past, the abjuring bonus) against the retained person's dodge. Anyway, it will spend some gps of theirs in the attempts to break free (whether they are succesful or not).

Overall, it looks like quite a useful spell (especially in PKdom, or against npcs that run away from magic, like those in Bes Pelargic), but the quite elevated amount of gps that each casting requires, and the relative ease to break free from the grip (even at over 300 bonuses some of the noblemen leave the room in which I've trapped them) make it only a toy spell for me.

Where is it? Being one of the top notch necromantic spells, it is to be found inside the Body Parts for the Advanced Student grimoire at the Unseen University Library.

What does it require? A hand, which is consumed in the process.

What skills do I need? Summoning, Abjuring, Healing, Animating

Has it worked? The proper output should read something like this:

You prepare to cast Myrandil's Vicious Seizure.
You summon the spirits of the dead from below.
You gesture grandly at the earth and command forth dead hands to grab your enemies.(You command dead hands to grab your enemies.)
You send energy through the muscles and nerves of the hand and the fingers move in grasping motions.
You send forth energy to animate the dead!
You feel the ground underneath begin to boil...
Suddenly, xxx rotting, clutching hands burst from the ground.
Two hands grab xxx's and a xxx's ankles!

Help Information:

Myrandil's Vicious Seizure - Seize your enemies.

Myrandil's Vicious Seizure is a first-order offensive spell that summons the hands of the dead to hold your enemies.

Grisald's Reanimated Guardian

What's it called? Grisald's Reanimated Guardian (in short, GRG)

What does it do? One of the top level defensive spells, Grisald's Reanimated Guardian allows you to reanimate a corpse and turn it into an additional and creepy bodyguard: a skeleton warrior. The skeleton will protect you until it is killed (again...) or you lose mental control of it (something that tends to happen after some time. Sekiri mentions around 45 minutes at best).
As such, this spell looks extremely useful, being one more level of protection to the usual magical defenses (floating shield, trollskin, TPA...). Its main inconvenient is that the skeleton warrior sucks the experience you get (in the past, up to half of it. It is said that today, only around 10%). It is also quite a rotten fighter, and will only come to your aid when your shields are down or hits pass through them.
As to the skeleton's stength, it is variable, and dependant on the caster's skills. Per description, the warriors can be 'slightly fierce', 'fierce' and 'very fierce'. Even in the best of cases, its hitpoints won't surpass the 2000 range, so it will be good to shield it. Also, it will automatically equip (when resurrected) the weapons it has on it (which gives the possibility of depositing weapons and armour over the corpse, better then the original).

Where is it? As the Necromancer's top spell, it is only appropiate that it should lurk inside the Body Parts for the Advanced Student grimoire, at Unseen University.

What does it require? A corpse. A human one. It is destroyed in miscasts.

What skills do I need? Summoning, Binding, Animating, Healing

Has it worked? A correct output should read something like this:

You prepare to cast Grisald's Reanimated Guardian on the corpse of a xxx.
You kneel and summon life force from hidden places.
You make magical equivalents of the long-gone muscles and ligaments of the skeleton, binding them onto the bare bones.
You attempt to magically reanimate the dead bones.
You attempt to repair the worst damage to the body.
The skeleton groans, stirs and rises.
The skeleton warrior equips a military cape, a short sword scabbard, a long sword, a mail coif, a pair of metal clad boots, a mail skirt, a mail shirt and a large metal shield.
The skeleton warrior moves to defend you.
You mentally take control of the skeleton.

Notes: A 'look' at the skeleton warrior, should you be so bold, offers the following description:

A walking corpse. Bits look like they're about to fall off, or already have. It looks slightly out-of-touch with the world, and very fierce.
It is in good shape.

Help Information:

Skeleton Guard ----- Discworld spell help ----- Skeleton Guard

Grisald's Reanimated Guardian - Create a skeleton guardian.

Grisald's Reanimated Guardian is a first order defensive spell that reanimates a corpse to protect the caster.

Books - Body Parts for the Advanced Student

A bone book is on the floor.

This book has a cover and bindings of beautifully worked bone, with intricate carvings of skulls and wings and other nifty things.

Octarine light crackles intermittently down the spine.

Table of Contents
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

2 - Narquin’s Mist of Doom

3 - Myrandil's Vicious Seizure

4 - Wungle's Body Part Suggestion

5 - Grisald's Reanimated Guardian

6 - Wungle's Great Sucking

7 - Von Hasselhoff's Skin Condition