People at Uni - Kari

You see Kari the Senior Wizard of the Ancient and Truly Original Brothers of the Silver Star.

She is a strapping young human lass.

She is in good shape.

She is standing.

Her skin looks as hard as rock, although it seems weaker around the neck.

Holding : an elegant rod of ebony (left hand) and a slender steel knife (right hand)

Wearing : a durable brown silk dress with mystical sygils and an azure wizard's pointy hat

Seeing How The Sausage Was Made

In my quest for new and ever more interesting and cost-effective ways of accumulating experience, I have learned of a certain sausage-making business close to the Shades, in Ankh-Morpork, that is actively recruiting workers.  So after reading a little bit and taking some basic deboning classes, I head to Sam Slager's shop and got to my first order. As of today, I've already fulfilled three! The first was for Grlfx meat (that was painful!), the second for leopard sausages and the third for mixed.

In fact the last two followed closely upon each other. I had just handed in the leopard sausages and saw the mixed order, and remembering I had just seen some zebras and jungle hens in a place I have blorpled in deepest Klatch, I just went for it! I got 3 or 4 hens, two zebra legs and sundry offals, and got working:

put corpse in workbench

You put the corpse of a puffed-up jungle cock in the workbench.

debone corpse on workbench

You skillfully remove all bone material from the corpse of a proud jungle cock and dispose of it through the hole before retrieving the prepared meat from the workbench.

put leg on workbench

You put the zebra left rear leg on the workbench.

debone leg on workbench

You start working on the zebra left rear leg, carefully removing the bones and pushing them down the hole in the workbench.

grind meats in grinder

You place the hunk of chicken meat and two large hunks of zebra meat in the grinder and begin to turn the handle.

You finish grinding up the meat and take the resulting ground meat out of the grinder.

extrude meats from extruder

You place the very large wad of ground mixed meat in the sausage machine and begin to turn the wheel.

You finish extruding the sausages and get the very long string of mixed sausages from the sausage machine.

That was pretty satisfactory! Now I just have to learn a little bit about cooking to be able to produce the spiced type of sausage that gives a premium of money and experience! And I have found something else to occupy my time between xp hunting and Job missions.

Gem-endipity

In a recent trip to the dwarven mines of Copperhead, while I was very unlucky in the crates I investigated, I found some rather interesting gems. Each mine can contain, at most, three different types of gems. The one I explored had veins of quartz, tiger's eye and, most importantly, corundum, which is the fancy name for the family of gems that includes rubies and sapphires. All in all, I got quite a nice cache, which I then cut and polished, as usual, in Slippery Hollow. Two or three pieces are rather valuable! 

A small heart-shaped cut tiger's eye, a small princess cut corundum, two large heart-shaped cut corundums, three large trillion cut tiger's eyes, two large heart-shaped cut quartzes, three small heart-shaped cut quartzes, a large pear-shaped cut tiger's eye, a small pear-shaped cut tiger's eye, four small trillion cut tiger's eyes, a large pear-shaped cut quartz, a small teardrop cut quartz, a large teardrop cut corundum, a small princess cut violet corundum and a small heart-shaped cut corundum.

I will be keeping the two princess cut and the large teardrop cut corundums, and one the most valuable tiger's eye gems. The non-violet corundum is actually in the limit of range in which I can properly value it (the other corundums are too costly for my skills). I will be using it for getting better at gem evaluation:

get gem from every blorples

You get a small princess cut corundum from a pocket in Blorples.

l gem

This small corundum has been cut into a square modified brilliant shape.  The gem's translucent properties have been enhanced by its seventy-six facets.

value gem

You carefully look at the small princess cut corundum but are uncertain of its value.

value gem

You carefully look at the small princess cut corundum but are uncertain of its value.

value gem

You carefully look at the small princess cut corundum but are uncertain of its value.

value gem

You carefully look at the small princess cut corundum but are uncertain of its value.

value gem

You estimate that the small princess cut corundum is worth A$118.47.  You're not very confident in your estimation.

value gem

You carefully look at the small princess cut corundum but are uncertain of its value.

There is a fancy fence in the middle of the Klatchian desert that deals with gems, but I find more convenience in Morporkian money and who dwells in Sto Lat. He doesn't look very fancy, nor his hut very wholesome, but behind the rags is a very clever connoisseur of jewellery!

Sights of the Big Wahoonie - Sandelfon's Temple

While not being much of a god-botherer myself, they can certainly build some nice hovels for their gods. If you start strutting along down the Street of Small Gods coming from the Plaza of Broken Moons, the first important temple you'll encounter, to your left, is dedicated to Sandelfon, the lord of corridors. The outside looks like this:

The Temple of Sandelfon lies to the northeast.  It seems to defy the laws of physics, as to fit in enough corridors for the priests' liking surely it should be far bigger than it actually is.  The outside of the Temple is covered with geometric patterns - tiny, perfect mazes of corridors.  Closer examination only seems to reveal more detail.  Some poor artisan must have gone blind here - but all for the glory of Sandelfon, so that's all right.

This is the entrance to the temple of Sandelfon, the God of Corridors.  To either side and above is a finely sculptured archway of a rich, red marble while, not surprisingly, a corridor stretches off to the north into the temple.  The Street of Small Gods passes by to the southwest.

Lots of corridors to strut along! If you don't get lost, and after passing some minor facilities, like the low altar, you will eventually reach the inner sanctum, which houses the high altar and an incense burner in front of it. The chamber looks thusly:

This high-vaulted room houses the high altar of Sandelfon, a large, plain block of grey stone resting on a dais in the middle of the floor.  Next to the altar, there is a burner, where incense can smoulder ceremonially.  A large archway leads out into the corridor, while a smaller one in the south wall contains a stone door.

l burner

This incense burner is made from a small firebrick furnace with a tall chimney, sitting atop a solid block of walnut.  The wood has been stained and varnished until it is a deep near-black.

If you inspect the altar with more detail, you will find some pretty interesting reliefs, too:

The altar is engraved with a depiction of the story of the third prophet of Sandelfon, Domestos.  Born in a rural part of Ephebe, Domestos was called to the faith at an early age and soon found himself involved in the struggle against the Corridor Shorteners of Mirrick, who appeared for the first time just as he became a full priest.  When all seemed finally lost, Domestos found the spiritual strength needed to rally the temple's stonemasons in a triumphant relengthening of the corridors, driving the Shorteners back into Mirrick.  The last scene on the altar shows Domestos in the throes of the vision that gripped him as he lay on his deathbed, old after many years of service to Sandelfon, foretelling the return of the Dreaded Corridor Shorteners at some time yet to come.

(Sand)castling

Lately I have been taking some sculpting classes in the hope that they would improve my abilities at goldsmithing. Alas, it seems I have been honing th wrong skills for the results I wanted, as getting the topmost quality results when making golden jewellery is fundamentally determined by gold smithing skills...

Still, my work hasn't been *totally* wasted I guess. In a brief holiday I had in the Brown Islands, I discovered my ability at building sandcastles has vastly improved. Here's an example:

This is bang in the middle of a long sandy beach, stretching to the east and west. To the north, a path leads away from the ocean into a small village, while to the south are just endless waves as far as the eye can see. Just to the east of here begins a long pier out to sea.

It is a hot summer prime's evening with almost no wind and a beautifully clear sky.

There are five obvious exits: north, south, east, west and southwest.

make a sandcastle

You pack some sand together to make a small and magnificent sandcastle.

l sandcastle

This is one of the most magnificent examples of sandcrafting one could ever hope to see. The towers have been carefully etched to give the impression of stonework, with the occasional window breaking the monotony. The walls are perfectly straight and the overall effect is stunning. This sandcastle is only quite small, being four towers connected by four walls. You could probably build on it to make a bigger one.

build on sandcastle

You build up another wall around the small and magnificent sandcastle, supporting it with towers at the corners and along the walls.

l sandcastle

This is one of the most magnificent examples of sandcrafting one could ever hope to see. The towers have been carefully etched to give the impression of stonework, with the occasional window breaking the monotony. The walls are perfectly straight and the overall effect is stunning. An inner keep of four towers and walls is surrounded by an outer wall supported by a number of towers.

A blissful native and a relaxed native arrive from the north.

The village to the north must be more interesting than here.

build on sandcastle

You build a stronghold on top of the inner keep of the large and magnificent sandcastle, packing sand over the original centre and building a new set of towers on top. You then surround the whole affair with yet another wall.

l sandcastle

This is one of the most magnificent examples of sandcrafting one could ever hope to see. The towers have been carefully etched to give the impression of stonework, with the occasional window breaking the monotony. The walls are perfectly straight and the overall effect is stunning. The castle is huge, a large raised fortress in the middle, surrounded by an outer wall supported by dozens of towers.

build on sandcastle

You dig a moat around the entirety of the outer wall of the huge and magnificent sandcastle and then a trench to the sea, filling the moat with water.

l sandcastle

This is one of the most magnificent examples of sandcrafting one could ever hope to see. The towers have been carefully etched to give the impression of stonework, with the occasional window breaking the monotony. The walls are perfectly straight and the overall effect is stunning. A goliath among sandcastles, its huge raised central stronghold stands proud and high within an outer wall, lined with turrets. Surrounding the whole castle is a moat, filled with water, with a drawbridge leading into the front gate of the castle.

build on sandcastle

The sandcastle is already huge, with a massive moat. Build a new one!

I tried to see if other sandy, artistic endeavors had improved as well, but no: my sand drawings are just as bad as ever. Perhaps I need to get some classes too in that regard before I can start making more than crooked and squiggly lines in the sand...

People at Uni - Vein

You see Vein Illusione of the Order of Midnight, the Seventh Level Wizard.

She is a strapping young human lass.

She is in good shape.

She is standing.

Her skin looks as hard as rock, although it seems weaker around the neck.

She has a giant turtle shell floating around her.

Holding : a Klatchian steel hatchet (left hand) and a Marzipan dinner knife (right hand).

Wearing : a pair of smuggler's seaboots, a dark grey four-ply cloak, a storm grey wizard's pointy hat, a pearl grey cashmere mask, three blue crystal rings, a gold and red coral ring, a pair of diamond stud earrings and a star sapphire ring.

Sights of the Big Wahoonie - The Patrician's Palace

 

Merchandizing

It is relatively easy, and not particularly glamorous, to earn money in the Disc, and there are only so many useful and expensive bits and bobs you can equip yourself with. Still, money has its uses. An area in which I find myself spending vast amounts of wealth is in the purchase of lives - I am only nine away from a hundred, which would also grant me a significant achievement. For the most part, though, I keep dying somewhat faster than I can raise money to reach the limit...

So if you're 'borrowing' items for selling them, one step up from the general stores would be the fences. The ones I most consistently use are the following three, depending on the type of good I want to convert to cash:

In the Ankh-Morpork Thieves Guild you have Sol and Jim. The first will give you the best bang for your buck for jewellery. The second, for clothing items. Until recently, my loot was mostly mirrored sunglasses and sundry rings, medallions and lockets mostly acquired from certain seedy establishments in Genua, so I could happily make do with both of them.

More recently, I acquired some skills in the mining, carving and polishing of gems, which meant I had to find a specialized fence for that. There are two I know of: one in the middle of the Klatchian desert, and another one in Sto Lat. I find the latter much more convenient given that he pays me in Morporkian currency, the one I employ (and spend!) the most.

Finally, since I've gotten into the habit of frequenting a certain den of iniquity in Ephebe, I also have to add a weapons fence to the list. There's a nice one in Mad Stoat, but again, for currency issues, I prefer Jak, in the Troll's Head Pub of Ankh-Morpork, just at the entrance of The Shades.

Although I don't have the soul of a merchant, I've been improving my haggling skills in different items. As as you have seen from previous entries, I've been systematically listing what can be found with the smugglers. Yesterday, I was fence a load of loot from them when I suddenly noticed an item I hadn't written about before, which I think makes the last (and twentieth) of the list, a fine silk robe:

This robe is made of the most expensive silks to be found. It feels soft and smooth to the touch and its deep blue colour is equally rich.

Here is a table with the twenty items:

Other items of value, also found in Ephebe, would be lambskin capes, peploi and himations. Looting is made more convenient when you have a huge alligator carrying a box on its back where you put stuff as you go along...

Unfortunately, I haven't found a fence for items made of metal that do not count as jewellery, even if they are results of finesmithing. But all fences will buy valuable items from you anyway, even if they won't pay as much if they aren't specialized in the goods.

Anyway, here's a snapshot of my latest mercantile dealings...

People at Uni - Coffeebreak

I am pretty sure I met Coffeebreak in another life (which reminds me... I had a silly death yesterday from a distraction; ouch!) in which he was a wizard, but of a different order. Anyway, tempora mutantur, et nos mutamur in illis.

You see Master Coffeebreak, of the Last Order, the Seventh Level Wizard.

He is the very model of a modern wizard magicial. 

The annals of history speak of terrifying wizards, teeming with power and wealth, feared and despised in equal measure. This is not one of them. Coffeebreak seems to be much more at home at a beach-side bar, admiring the sunset while sipping a glass of wine. Or sitting at his desk, writing a book with a swaying quill while a cat slumbers on his lap. A man who leaves the comforts of civilisation only to help others and wears the scars of his adventures not with pride but with acceptance. 

Wearing: a pair of black soft-soled boots, a pair of climbing gloves, a star lined cloak and a crimson wizard's pointy hat. 

Holding: a couple of daggers

look dagger

This is a dagger, the blade of which is constructed entirely from steel. It is about a foot long, and very sharp. The blade has a thin bevelled edge on both sides, extending the full length of the dagger to the very tip. The dagger has a calfskin grip, and the hilt has a curved crossguard of black steel that tapers to two sharpened points on either side of the blade, like the fangs of some horrible creature swallowing the dagger. The pommel of the dagger has been formed from sapphire into the shape of a cat. The chappe of the blade is made of platinum with a motif of occult sigils etched upon it.

Big and Small and In Between

Yesterday I found one more bit of loot from the smuggler's den which I hadn't encountered before: the Klatchian steel tower shield:

This extremely weighty shield has been made from the finest Klatchian steel. Strong, durable, and weighty, it would be capable of protecting someone from even the most determined of attacks - at least if you were able to carry it. An ornate representation of a phoenix in flight has been inlaid upon the central boss of the shield in gold.

It is, indeed, rather hefty, at around 14.33 pounds. While my first thought was to immediately fence it, I think went and took a look about Quow's suggestions for floaters. Right now I am pretty comfortable with the ornate bone shield, as I am slightly above the 483 bonuses it demands. The Katchian steel piece is apparently good from 538 upwards (and the ultimate goal, a giant turtle shell, from 646 upwards). This, and the new hedgie spell that can make shields heavier, are making me think of a road map: when I go back to spending in magic.spells.defensive, as soon as I reach 500 bonuses I can cast Luquayle's Longevity-Enhancing Ballast once, or even twice, on the current shield. And when I reach 538, switch to this one. And then do the same thing, expanding weights as I get better bonuses. It's going to be a slow climb. I will need unimaginable amounts of xp to push defense up. Perhaps I should be considering sailing, so if any of you smugglers are reading this, let me know if you are willing to recruit me.

Anyway, moving from the very big to the very small, and as part of my attempts to reduce my burden, I have decided to give up on my deluded sapphire-hilted knife. The Hedgies in Skund have developed a really small, light and nifty kauri penknife that does all the requirements of body-part gathering and little-demon summoning, and sheathes along with my Fang inside my recently acquired filigreed sword belt. Knifey looks like this:

This is a sturdy, practical folding knife, suitable for all the little everyday things a hedge wizard might need to cut, like string or branches or eyeballs. It has a Wharncliffe blade designed to fold away into the polished kauri handle, and bears a steaming teacup as a maker's mark. The blade is closed.

And finally, something in between! I have Grimoire carry for me my filigreed rowan case, which I don't use for much, actually, expect for the hope of scraping some magical tm from listing the spells within it. It looks like this:

This is a small case made from rowan which has been completely enveloped in octiron filigree. The design is fanciful and intricate and the octiron has been polished to high reflective shine. In the centre of the cases lid is a small plaque which mirrors your gaze perfectly. At the bottom are four small claw-like feet which the case uses to keep hold of the surface. Any surface, really. Between the legs, in the centre of the bottom of the case is another small plaque which might give some information. 

It is in perfect condition. 

There is no ink in the well. It contains no paper. 

It radiates pure octarine brilliance. 

It has the hazy octarine sparkle of a magical talisman.

Sights of the Big Wahoonie - The Brass Bridge

 

People at Uni - Mirodar

You see Mystic Mirodar the Red.

He is a strapping young human lad.

 

He is obviously a wizard. With the overly-ostentatious clothing there could be no other possibility. Judging by the tatty state of his attire though, it would appear that he's not a very good one. The dust and grime coating show that he is well travelled and the restlessness evident in every muscle indicates someone who is not comfortable unless he's busy. 

He looks strange, probably due to extra arms growing from the top of his head and the centre of his stomach. 

Holding : a Klein bottle (top hand) and a jagged coral dirk (stomach hand). 

Wearing : a pair of mirrored sunglasses, a pair of padded leather socks, a pair of climbing gloves, a smuggler's longcoat and a leather gorget.

Smuggler loot (3)

A blue silk kimono 

The kimono is made from light blue, dull silk. It is adorned with the embroidered scenery of Hung Hung's cherry trees in full bloom. The soft pink stitches stroke the silk tenderly.

A darkened stile

This maliciously-pointed implement has been forged from the finest Klatchian steel. Unlike other blades, however, this one has been twisted during its forging in such a way that it resembles the tight spiral of an animal's horn. It looks eminently suitable for slipping between the ribs of any terminally inobservant victims who happen to be in the vicinity.

A braided gold ring

This ring has been finely crafted from gold wire. Woven skilfully together, the individual strands have combined to form something far more attractive-looking than its constituent component. Completely even and uniform, it would grace the hand of its bearer.

Lavender amethyst earrings

A pair of cabochon-cut lavender amethysts, like tiny petals, nestle into simple silver clasp settings, with posts and scrolls to hold them securely in the wearer's earlobes.

An amber and silver ring

This ring has been shaped from silver in such a way that its entire circumference appears to flow in an infinitely undulating wave. The skilled workmanship is accented by an amber teardrop, set in yet more silver. A number of tiny bubbles can be seen, interspersed throughout the amber.

A silver-hilted stile

Hardly a weapon designed for stealthy movement and concealment, the handle of this slender knife has been cast from silver into a stylised representation of a desert cat, the skilful craftsmanship conveying not what the animal looks like, but what it truly is.  Its blade is of the most delicately-honed fine Klatchian steel.

A ruby serpent ring

This ring has been crafted from gold to resemble a coiled serpent. Shards of ruby pick out the eyes, which stare out like malevolent suns from its golden head.

Honorary Dwarf

I've been trying to polish my spoken dwarvish, which hasn't been easy. Dwarves are not the most talkative of fellows except when it comes to gold and rocks, and I've already mastered the 200 different words for the latter. Anyway, I've been frequenting some caves and listening and practicing to my echoes, and silly as it sounds, it has done wonders. Probably the setting helped:

You feel like the Dwarfish language is less confusing.

..is ..thwestern ..orner ..  ..ge ..d ..ruly ..nhospitable ..ave .. ..uch ..ike ..he ..thers  .. ..dish .. .. ..he ..e  ..ister ..ndication .. .. ..oings .. ..ere   ..he ..ow ..iling ..ffles .. ..ise ..ghtly  ..n ..reams   .. ..loser ..spection  ..here ..re ..dles .. ..wigs .. ..ves ..tled .. ..ome .. ..he ..arger ..vices .. ..k  ..eir ..urpose ..t ..parent; ..t ..hikn'gash ..nlikely ..t ..hese ..rakh'gash ..e ..wn .. ..om ..he ..side

An efficient grflx workleader, a dusty grflx worker, a muddy grflx worker, a bored grflx worker and a weary grflx worker arrive from the southeast.

Grimoire the alligator slaps her tail from side to side.

hskills

Recent skill changes during this session:

Fri Aug 28 21:41:15 2026 - spoken Dwarfish increased by 1 level to level 90.

So after my last success, I decided to hold a small party with some dwarf friends at Hlakket's! They gave me a certificate and everything! The food was also on the house, but I had to abstain from that one. Rats-onna-stick don't sit well with me...

Smuggler loot (2)

Some more trinkets from Ephebe!

An amber silk robe

This gossamer silk robe glows in a warm, amber hue. It has been embroidered with a delicate filigree pattern in silken thread the rich reddish-brown colour of cinnamon and is bound about the edges with russet-coloured silk from which hangs small, round citrines. The gems alternate with small gold coins. The sleeves are belled slightly at the wrists to capture a cooling breeze, and the robe hangs loose to the wearer's ankles, the gauzy material fluttering about with the slightest motion.

Dark sapphire earrings*

A pair of tiny faceted stones, showing elusive glimmers of blue in their night-dark hearts, nestle into simple red gold clasp settings, with posts and scrolls to hold them securely in the wearer's earlobes.

A gold and carnelian necklace

This exquisite piece of jewellery is formed by threading beads onto a fine chain. The golden beads are teardrop-shaped but otherwise un-ornamented, and contrast stunningly with the almost luminously-polished larger pearls of carnelian that are interspersed along the whole necklace.

*These shouldn't come as a complete surprise to the readers of my grimoire, as I've already shown them among my wearables some days ago.

Smuggler loot

In a previous entry, we saw two of the valuable items one can find when looting at the smuggler's hideout, in Ephebe: a pearl diadem and a snake necklace. Sometimes, the loot isn't jewels, but rather, items of clothing or weapons. I have decided to keep track of everything so that I can regale your eyes with a view of these marvelous items. Here go six more to add to the previous two:

A ruby star necklace

This necklace is formed by braiding fine gold wire into an elegant yet hefty plait. Gently twisted, it would encircle the neck of the wearer comfortably. It is finished off with a star-shaped ruby, which nestles in a golden setting, flanked by the braided gold chain.

A twisting myrtle necklet

This somewhat rigid piece of decorative neckwear appears to be designed to make its wearer look as though they have been festooned with myrtle. Fashioned from gold, the body is formed from woven strands of gold, textured to have the appearance of bark. Small sapphire berries nestle amongst delicately-shaped golden leaves, which extend along the full length of the necklace.

A silver and iolite bracelet 

A single link of silver chain connects each of the pale violet gemstones, in their simple channel settings. The strand drapes around a slim wrist like glittering stepping stones across a gentle stream.

A gossamer silk cloak

This silk cloak is so thin, it gives little protection from the sun or rain. The gossamer material shimmers as it moves, floating lightly around the wearer like a full body halo. Here and there, the threads sparkle lightly.

A Gebra steel dory

This is a perfectly-balanced and elegantly proportioned Ephebian dory. Its head has been expertly forged from the finest Gebra steel. The deceptive simplicity of this weapon conceals the fact that it is at one and the same time both elegantly simple and lethally effective. The shaft has been shaped from a piece of ash and has a bronze shoe at its foot.

A darkened makhaira

Approximately the length of a grown man's arm, this slender sword has been forged from darkened Klatchian steel. Soft and supple dark grey leather has been wrapped around the handle to provide a sure grip. The razor-sharp blade would probably prove invaluable for a quick stab in the dark

People at Uni - Moriarty

You see Multilingual Moriarty of the Venerable Council of Seers, the Sixth Level Wizard. 

He is a strapping young human lad.

A faint halo of cogs and gears, slowly but endlessly turning, enwreaths him. 

He is in good shape.

He is standing.

Holding : a Klein bottle (right hand). 

Wearing : a pair of black lab goggles, a pair of artificer's boots, a pair of ritual gauntlets, a stylish black lab coat and an old brass cogwheel earring.

A New Type of Treasure!

I've been visiting a certain dark maze of tunnels and corridors in Ephebe for quite some time now, sometimes with deadly consequences. While in those tunnels I've had more fights with smugglers than i can remember, and encounters with a smuggler captain that end up with taking an iron key from his dead, cold fingers and opening a chest with sundry bits of treasure and some money. But in my visits, I had also noticed that hidden somewhere amidst this maze of passageways there sometimes appeared a special room, hacked into the rock, with yet another treasure chest that I always found ransacked. Today I was determined to see if I could find it. I upped my visual sense to high mode and put myself to looking through every nook and cranny, and something indeed happened! I found the place... and a bunch of smugglers that tried to kill me for my daring:

[dingy tunnel]

Some tunnels are made by merry dwarves, singing as they work. Some tunnels are made by a peaceful underground river, patiently wearing away the rock over millennia. This tunnel looks as though somebody just glared at the rock until it decided it was better off elsewhere. Shadows linger in every corner and sharp rocks squat on the floor, ready to trip the unwary adventurer.

There are no obvious exits.

search walls

You start to search around.

You examine the ground carefully and notice some rocks that look like they have been moved recently. Shifting them aside, you reveal a hole in the ground.

A demented smuggler, a devious smuggler, two dastardly smugglers and a smelly smuggler run out of the shadows.

You notice the demented smuggler falling over his feet while trying to sneak round you and decide to teach him a lesson.

The demented smuggler looks confused.

You notice the devious smuggler falling over his feet while trying to sneak round you and decide to teach him a lesson.

The devious smuggler looks quite confused.

You notice one of the dastardly smugglers falling over his feet while trying to sneak round you and decide to teach him a lesson.

The dastardly smuggler looks confused.

You suddenly hear a noise behind you and turn around to find one of the dastardly smugglers preparing to backstab you. You take the opportunity to launch a pre-emptive attack.

You notice the smelly smuggler falling over his feet while trying to sneak round you and decide to teach him a lesson.

Hp: 2926 (2926) Gp: 277 (442) Xp: 442285

The dastardly smuggler shoves you.

You scratch the dastardly smuggler's head with your sea serpent fang.

The demented smuggler, the devious smuggler, two dastardly smugglers and the smelly smuggler move aggressively towards you!

Your concentration wanes and you stop watching your surroundings as intently.

What followed was a brutal, bloody but mercifully brief battle, which ended with all the smugglers dead, and with the ground flowing with blood. I was finally able to climb down and discover what was awaiting beneath!

d
[hidey hole]
@
A small hollow has been hacked into the rock here, barely big enough to stand up in. It is bare and devoid of decoration save some scratchings on the floor. The only access is through a narrow hole in the ceiling. A couple of handholds have been cut into the wall underneath.
There is one obvious exit: up.
A large wooden chest is on the floor.
l chest
This large chest is made from driftwood, worn and weathered by the tides and the wind. It is secured by a large cast-iron padlock. The chest looks heavy and is almost big enough to fit a human in it.
It is in excellent condition.
It is closed.
open chest
You open the large wooden chest.
l chest
This large chest is made from driftwood, worn and weathered by the tides and the wind. It is secured by a large cast-iron padlock. The chest looks heavy and is almost big enough to fit a human in it.
It is in excellent condition.
The large wooden chest is almost empty except for a golden serpent necklace and a gold and pearl diadem.
It is open.
get all from chest
You get a golden serpent necklace and a gold and pearl diadem from a large wooden chest.
u

Coming up, I still had to confront further bunches of smugglers until I finally managed to reach a safe spot, and take the opportunity to inspect my loot. This is what I had rescued from the well-hidden chest:

l diadem

This golden diadem fits snugly round the head and makes the wearer look terribly wealthy and important. Held together by golden chains the diadem is comprised of two solid gold side pieces and a gold mounted pearl front piece. At the back of the diadem a clasp holds the chains together allowing the wearer to adjust it to the size of their head. As well as the large pearl at the front of the piece, smaller pearls are inset all the way around.

It is in excellent condition.

l serpent necklace

This golden necklace is segmented, almost seeming to slither and writhe across the neck of the wearer. Scales are intricately picked out over the whole of the surface, allowing it to exactly mirror the sinuous contours of a real serpent. Its eyes have been fashioned out of emerald, contrasting with the otherwise understated decoration of the rest of the piece.

It is in excellent condition.

Quite an exciting set of events! I was quite lucky to get through it unscathed! I do need to become somewhat more perceptive, though...

Honoured Employee!

A few days ago, I noticed that while I had done a fair amount of odd jobs for Mr. Werks and the Patrician's Jobbes Programme, I still hadn't attainted the greatest token of recognition that the said program affords. So I got myself busy, packed my traveling bags and went on a spree, gathering items from all over the Disc. I wasn't expecting the results to come in so soon (I was expecting a week or so more work at least), but just as I came into the warehouse today for collecting my latest pennies, I was surprised by the gift of the medal of greatest honor!

Well, wasn't that nice! And of course there was someone with an iconograph at hand to immortalize the current moment, and to allow me to share it with you:

The medal might not have a lot of economic value, but it sure feels like that to me, after some... five hundred missions? And not the last ones, either. I will still be indulging the Morporkian men and women's wishes for goods from faraway places in the days to come.

Anyway, the medal looks like this: This is a beautiful disc made of platinum, bearing the seal of the Ankh-Morpork Job Market: a hammer above a wagon wheel. To earn this medal means to have shown great service to the city of Ankh-Morpork and its denizens, by way of continued hard work.

I'll be wearing it proudly! I don't quite understand why it doesn't count as jewellery, though...

People at Uni - Drygur

You see Magistrate Drygur the Senior Wizard of the Hoodwinkers.

He is a strapping young human lad.

He looks like somebody with a clearly defined goal in mind, shoulders squared and concentrated.

He is in good shape.

He is standing.

His skin looks as hard as rock, although it seems weaker around the face.

He has Wizard's Friend floating around him.

He has a big deep black butterfly clinging to his shoulder.

Holding : The Light (left hand) and The Dark (right hand).

Wearing : a pair of black soft-soled boots, a royal blue wizard's robe, a light blue silk backpack, a light grey silk backpack, a Fang family crest, four club badges, a big deep black butterfly, a blue crystal ring, a star sapphire ring, an artificer's tool belt, a silver rat ring, a blackened canteen and a mirrored timepiece.