Unseen University Postcards - The High Energy Magic Building

 

The IIL

Djelibeybi is one of the oldest nations of the Disc. It also houses one of its eminents institutions for the teaching of wizardry, i.e., the Institute of Illusionary Learning. Although its orders haven't been recruiting many people of late, it is still well worth it to make the trip through the never ending sands of the Klatchian continent and to the fertile banks of the Djel for getting access to many a quaint and interesting spell.

The Institute lies somewhat north of the Ephebe Gate, along city's main axis, the Avenue of the Pharaohs. The entrance into the building is a grand affair most probably designed to awe the visitors and imprint them with the importance of the institutions and the relative unimportance of the visitor.

One you cross its hallowed bronze doors, you find yourself in the main courtyard of the Institute. In the middle is an impressive and pretty useful fountain for those of us unaccustomed to these torrid regions. To your left you can appreciate the local Library, which while not of a piece as our Morporkian institution, still shines in the light of its magical splendor. In front of you lies Toad Hall, the main building of the complex, which houses administrative and other facilities, and to your right there's another courtyard that leads the way to the classrooms. Notice that buildings tend to be topped with pyramidal roofs so as to channel away excess magic.

The library's collection is decent enough, and includes some of the staple fair you will have become accustomed to in other institutions. Two local jewels do stand out to:  Spelles of thee Oryent, while common enough in Klatch, is difficult to find elsewhere, and includes within its covers the most employed transportation spell for wizards. Ye Booke of Polymorphe deals with the ancient Djelian specialty of transfiguration magic. You might have a hard time finding them, though: the library is very disorienting.

The hall looks pretty much like you'd expect from the outside, but it does have an endearing feature for this hot-but-not-god forsaken place: an air conditioning unit, which makes walking around its flagstones something almost bearable.

The upper floors include the facilities you would expect, like student lounges and rooms for the different local orders (The Ancient Order of the Incarnation of the Dynastic Crescent, The Ancient Order of the Scintillating Scarab and The Ancient Order of the Demiurgical Djinn Diviners). Its most distinctive and accessible corner, though, is a Diplomat's Lounge that is open to wizards from all over the Disc, and brimful of mementoes from every region, so that you may feel at least partially at home. The mishmash of styles is somewhat bewildering, though...

Retracing your steps back to the fountain and now turning in the direction opposite the Library takes you to the southern courtyard, over which looms the Tse-Tse building, where classes are taught. Flamingo Hall is a two level building up some stairs to the west.  It houses laboratories for mid-level wizards, but is still under construction so you can't go in there yet. To the east is an enclosed space that houses the outdoor practice yard. There's also a very useful components shop run by Mit-sin-bibh-khot.

Go into the practice yard to enjoy a not so sightly sight!.  The walls rise high above you, disallowing you the vision of anything but the sky.  The ground is covered in glass-like sand which glitters and gleams in any available light.  There is no one here but a single demon which stands shackled and bound. An exit leads to the west and is wide enough for even the most robust of wizards to make a quick escape.

The inside of the Tse-Tse building has nothing particularly worth noting, and reminds one of the Cloisters at Unseen University. You have mostly empty classrooms and apparatus to test and improve very basic levels of magical skill. It comes with a gymnasium with yet another practice demon and a beginner's grimoire.

So if you're passing by, take the chance to visit the place. You will not regret it! Unless you get too close to the chained demons, though...

There and Back Again!

Almost two years it has been, but Winswand's back! He wasn't trapped in the Dungeon Dimensions: just busy with the everyday hustle and bustle of Roundworld's Works and Days.

One thing that has changed in these eight hundred or so days is that Hex has become ever so nimble at painting and printing quality iconographs, and so much so that it is putting imps to shame. I mean, just look at the picture it was able to make of me with some relatively minor prompting:

This was rather marvelous! I had to follow it up with a close view of some of my trinkets, starting with the rings that adorn my fingers:

Not to make the picture too cluttered, I separated some of my other jewellery and the spinning ring for the next take:

I really have a preference for white/silver and blue, don't I? But it makes sense, being an Elemental Wizard.

Three other things I always carry with me are my backpack, my shield (both nick from Dave the Necromancer's stuff) and my snack pack. Again, Hex didn't disappoint: 

But that's enough nice pictures for a day! I hope to be bringing you interesting entries in the following days and weeks. I have to get up to speed and start re-exploring again, but I don't think many changes have taken place during my absence, though...

People at Uni - The Communications Imp

The communications imp is standing here.

> The communications imp exclaims: Hello!  Busy afternoon isn't it, Winswand?!

The communications imp mutters something about wizards under its breath.

look imp

The communications imp exclaims: BLAST!

This is the University's Official Communications imp.  His job is to make sure all memos go through as they should and when they should.  Sharply, he twitches from the overwhelming stress of coordinating such uncoordinated beasts as wizards.  His little horns have slight chips in them from banging his head on the wall one too many times, and his little wings flutter to and fro in a flurried state of unrest.  The last thing this little imp needs is another cup of coffee.

It is in good shape.

It is standing.

> To the southwest, the town crier shouts: The AM Daily newspaper is currently recruiting reporters and other authors! Contact Jeanie for details.

The communications imp exclaims: I think I might need a therapist.  Are you available?!

The communications imp exclaims: Can you hear those voices too?  Certainly, you MUST be able to hear all these voices!  There are hundreds of them!  Can't you hear them?!

The communications imp exclaims: I can take the abuse.  Really I can.  No.  Really.  Aaaarrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhh!  Make it STOP!

The communications imp exclaims: Don't get me angry!  You wouldn't like me angry!

The communications imp exclaims: I should have majored in something easy like...Physics!

The communications imp exclaims: Memos! How hard can MEMOS be?!

The communications imp leaves west.

People at Uni - The Professor of Recondite Architecture

The Professor of Recondite Architecture is standing here.

> 

l professor

This is the Professor of Recondite Architecture and Origami Map Folding.  As one of the few people who understands the convoluted bent dimensions of the University, coupled with his prowess in origami folding, he is capable of constructing a map of the University (admittedly one that looks like an exploding crysanthemum) that would probably be accurate for the next few days.  He has nimble fingers and a long face covered in a silky smooth black beard with a truly impressive moustache.  His enquiring crystal clear blue eyes are often distant as he ponders new ways of folding paper, or perhaps thinking back to his childhood in Bonk.

He is in good shape.

He is standing.

Holding : a twisted wooden staff (left hand and right hand).

Wearing : a pair of pointy wizard shoes, a black velvet and vermine robe and a pointy wizard's hat.

His purse is home to only moths!

People at Uni - The Professor of Extreme Horticulture

The Professor of Extreme Horticulture and a handsome sheep shearer are standing here.

An eggshell white oak bench is standing beneath the chestnut tree and a wizardly brass lantern is hanging on a wall.

> The Professor of Extreme Horticulture mutters about the dangers of the sea.

look professor

This is the Professor of Extreme Horticulture, otherwise known as Pennysmart to his friends.  Due to an unfortunate accident involving an affronted jellyfish his legs have been permanently stained an extremely interesting shade of purple.  He boasts an elaborate white beard that, at times, brushes the ground, and spikey grey hair that shoots out from his head in every direction.  His great passion in life is walking the Unseen University octangle where it is statistically implausible that a sea creature could ever ravage him again.

He is in good shape.

He is standing.

Holding : a twisted wooden staff (left hand and right hand).

Wearing : a pair of pointy wizard shoes, a white velvet and vermine robe and a pointy wizard's hat.

His purse is home to only moths!

> In the distance to the southwest, the big bronze gong in the Temple of Small Gods bongs nine times.

The Professor of Extreme Horticulture picks up his beard just before a passing student uses it as a mat.

The Professor of Extreme Horticulture mutters something about jellyfish under his breath.

People at Uni - The Bursar

The Bursar is floating here.

A greenish-purple octarine oak bench is standing beneath the chestnut tree and a wizardly brass lantern is hanging on a wall.

> The Professor of Recondite Architecture moves west across the octangle.

look bursar

This somewhat elderly fellow is Dr A.A. Dinwiddie, more commonly known as the Bursar.  He took up the post after a rather unfortunate series of events involving a sorcerer, the Dungeon Dimensions, and a lot of screaming.  He has been steadfastly adding up numbers and generally trying to keep out of everybody's way ever since.

He is in good shape.

He is floating here.

Wearing : a pair of pointy wizard shoes, a rumpled wizard's robe and a pointy wizard's hat.

His purse is home to only moths!

> The bubble around you flickers slightly.

The Bursar crouches down and starts hopping around.

The Bursar looks a little confused.

The Bursar's throat suddenly swells out in front, and he looks alarmed.  He opens his mouth to scream - but what comes out is a rather different type of noise...

The frog that looks an awful lot like the Bursar croaks (ribbit).

The frog that looks an awful lot like the Bursar says: Ribbit bloody ribbit