Friday, August 28, 2026

Smuggler loot (2)

Some more trinkets from Ephebe!

An amber silk robe

This gossamer silk robe glows in a warm, amber hue. It has been embroidered with a delicate filigree pattern in silken thread the rich reddish-brown colour of cinnamon and is bound about the edges with russet-coloured silk from which hangs small, round citrines. The gems alternate with small gold coins. The sleeves are belled slightly at the wrists to capture a cooling breeze, and the robe hangs loose to the wearer's ankles, the gauzy material fluttering about with the slightest motion.



Dark sapphire earrings*

A pair of tiny faceted stones, showing elusive glimmers of blue in their night-dark hearts, nestle into simple red gold clasp settings, with posts and scrolls to hold them securely in the wearer's earlobes.


A gold and carnelian necklace

This exquisite piece of jewellery is formed by threading beads onto a fine chain. The golden beads are teardrop-shaped but otherwise un-ornamented, and contrast stunningly with the almost luminously-polished larger pearls of carnelian that are interspersed along the whole necklace.


*These shouldn't come as a complete surprise to the readers of my grimoire, as I've already shown them among my wearables some days ago.

Thursday, August 27, 2026

Smuggler loot


In a previous entry, we saw two of the valuable items one can find when looting at the smuggler's hideout, in Ephebe: a pearl diadem and a snake necklace. Sometimes, the loot isn't jewels, but rather, items of clothing or weapons. I have decided to keep track of everything so that I can regale your eyes with a view of these marvelous items. Here go six more to add to the previous two:

A ruby star necklace

This necklace is formed by braiding fine gold wire into an elegant yet hefty plait. Gently twisted, it would encircle the neck of the wearer comfortably. It is finished off with a star-shaped ruby, which nestles in a golden setting, flanked by the braided gold chain.

A twisting myrtle necklet

This somewhat rigid piece of decorative neckwear appears to be designed to make its wearer look as though they have been festooned with myrtle. Fashioned from gold, the body is formed from woven strands of gold, textured to have the appearance of bark. Small sapphire berries nestle amongst delicately-shaped golden leaves, which extend along the full length of the necklace.

A silver and iolite bracelet 

A single link of silver chain connects each of the pale violet gemstones, in their simple channel settings. The strand drapes around a slim wrist like glittering stepping stones across a gentle stream.



A gossamer silk cloak

This silk cloak is so thin, it gives little protection from the sun or rain. The gossamer material shimmers as it moves, floating lightly around the wearer like a full body halo. Here and there, the threads sparkle lightly.

A Gebra steel dory

This is a perfectly-balanced and elegantly proportioned Ephebian dory. Its head has been expertly forged from the finest Gebra steel. The deceptive simplicity of this weapon conceals the fact that it is at one and the same time both elegantly simple and lethally effective. The shaft has been shaped from a piece of ash and has a bronze shoe at its foot.

A darkened makhaira

Approximately the length of a grown man's arm, this slender sword has been forged from darkened Klatchian steel. Soft and supple dark grey leather has been wrapped around the handle to provide a sure grip. The razor-sharp blade would probably prove invaluable for a quick stab in the dark



Wednesday, August 26, 2026

People at Uni - Moriarty


You see Multilingual Moriarty of the Venerable Council of Seers, the Sixth Level Wizard. 

He is a strapping young human lad.

A faint halo of cogs and gears, slowly but endlessly turning, enwreaths him. 

He is in good shape.

He is standing.

Holding : a Klein bottle (right hand). 

Wearing : a pair of black lab goggles, a pair of artificer's boots, a pair of ritual gauntlets, a stylish black lab coat and an old brass cogwheel earring.



Monday, August 24, 2026

A New Type of Treasure!


I've been visiting a certain dark maze of tunnels and corridors in Ephebe for quite some time now, sometimes with deadly consequences. While in those tunnels I've had more fights with smugglers than i can remember, and encounters with a smuggler captain that end up with taking an iron key from his dead, cold fingers and opening a chest with sundry bits of treasure and some money. But in my visits, I had also noticed that hidden somewhere amidst this maze of passageways there sometimes appeared a special room, hacked into the rock, with yet another treasure chest that I always found ransacked. Today I was determined to see if I could find it. I upped my visual sense to high mode and put myself to looking through every nook and cranny, and something indeed happened! I found the place... and a bunch of smugglers that tried to kill me for my daring:

[dingy tunnel]
Some tunnels are made by merry dwarves, singing as they work. Some tunnels are made by a peaceful underground river, patiently wearing away the rock over millennia. This tunnel looks as though somebody just glared at the rock until it decided it was better off elsewhere. Shadows linger in every corner and sharp rocks squat on the floor, ready to trip the unwary adventurer.
There are no obvious exits.
search walls
You start to search around.
You examine the ground carefully and notice some rocks that look like they have been moved recently. Shifting them aside, you reveal a hole in the ground.
A demented smuggler, a devious smuggler, two dastardly smugglers and a smelly smuggler run out of the shadows.
You notice the demented smuggler falling over his feet while trying to sneak round you and decide to teach him a lesson.
The demented smuggler looks confused.
You notice the devious smuggler falling over his feet while trying to sneak round you and decide to teach him a lesson.
The devious smuggler looks quite confused.
You notice one of the dastardly smugglers falling over his feet while trying to sneak round you and decide to teach him a lesson.
The dastardly smuggler looks confused.
You suddenly hear a noise behind you and turn around to find one of the dastardly smugglers preparing to backstab you. You take the opportunity to launch a pre-emptive attack.
You notice the smelly smuggler falling over his feet while trying to sneak round you and decide to teach him a lesson.
Hp: 2926 (2926) Gp: 277 (442) Xp: 442285
The dastardly smuggler shoves you.
You scratch the dastardly smuggler's head with your sea serpent fang.
The demented smuggler, the devious smuggler, two dastardly smugglers and the smelly smuggler move aggressively towards you!
Your concentration wanes and you stop watching your surroundings as intently.


What followed was a brutal, bloody but mercifully brief battle, which ended with all the smugglers dead, and with the ground flowing with blood. I was finally able to climb down and discover what was awaiting beneath!

d
[hidey hole]
@
A small hollow has been hacked into the rock here, barely big enough to stand up in. It is bare and devoid of decoration save some scratchings on the floor. The only access is through a narrow hole in the ceiling. A couple of handholds have been cut into the wall underneath.
There is one obvious exit: up.
A large wooden chest is on the floor.
l chest
This large chest is made from driftwood, worn and weathered by the tides and the wind. It is secured by a large cast-iron padlock. The chest looks heavy and is almost big enough to fit a human in it.
It is in excellent condition.
It is closed.
open chest
You open the large wooden chest.
l chest
This large chest is made from driftwood, worn and weathered by the tides and the wind. It is secured by a large cast-iron padlock. The chest looks heavy and is almost big enough to fit a human in it.
It is in excellent condition.
The large wooden chest is almost empty except for a golden serpent necklace and a gold and pearl diadem.
It is open.
get all from chest
You get a golden serpent necklace and a gold and pearl diadem from a large wooden chest.
u


Coming up, I still had to confront further bunches of smugglers until I finally managed to reach a safe spot, and take the opportunity to inspect my loot. This is what I had rescued from the well-hidden chest:

l diadem
This golden diadem fits snugly round the head and makes the wearer look terribly wealthy and important. Held together by golden chains the diadem is comprised of two solid gold side pieces and a gold mounted pearl front piece. At the back of the diadem a clasp holds the chains together allowing the wearer to adjust it to the size of their head. As well as the large pearl at the front of the piece, smaller pearls are inset all the way around.
It is in excellent condition.

l serpent necklace
This golden necklace is segmented, almost seeming to slither and writhe across the neck of the wearer. Scales are intricately picked out over the whole of the surface, allowing it to exactly mirror the sinuous contours of a real serpent. Its eyes have been fashioned out of emerald, contrasting with the otherwise understated decoration of the rest of the piece.
It is in excellent condition.


Quite an exciting set of events! I was quite lucky to get through it unscathed! I do need to become somewhat more perceptive, though...

Sunday, August 23, 2026

Honoured Employee!


A few days ago, I noticed that while I had done a fair amount of odd jobs for Mr. Werks and the Patrician's Jobbes Programme, I still hadn't attainted the greatest token of recognition that the said program affords. So I got myself busy, packed my traveling bags and went on a spree, gathering items from all over the Disc. I wasn't expecting the results to come in so soon (I was expecting a week or so more work at least), but just as I came into the warehouse today for collecting my latest pennies, I was surprised by the gift of the medal of greatest honor!


Well, wasn't that nice! And of course there was someone with an iconograph at hand to immortalize the current moment, and to allow me to share it with you:


The medal might not have a lot of economic value, but it sure feels like that to me, after some... five hundred missions? And not the last ones, either. I will still be indulging the Morporkian men and women's wishes for goods from faraway places in the days to come.

Anyway, the medal looks like this: This is a beautiful disc made of platinum, bearing the seal of the Ankh-Morpork Job Market: a hammer above a wagon wheel. To earn this medal means to have shown great service to the city of Ankh-Morpork and its denizens, by way of continued hard work.


I'll be wearing it proudly! I don't quite understand why it doesn't count as jewellery, though...

Saturday, August 22, 2026

People at Uni - Drygur

You see Magistrate Drygur the Senior Wizard of the Hoodwinkers.

He is a strapping young human lad.


He looks like somebody with a clearly defined goal in mind, shoulders squared and concentrated.


He is in good shape.


He is standing.


His skin looks as hard as rock, although it seems weaker around the face.


He has Wizard's Friend floating around him.


He has a big deep black butterfly clinging to his shoulder.


Holding : The Light (left hand) and The Dark (right hand).


Wearing : a pair of black soft-soled boots, a royal blue wizard's robe, a light blue silk backpack, a light grey silk backpack, a Fang family crest, four club badges, a big deep black butterfly, a blue crystal ring, a star sapphire ring, an artificer's tool belt, a silver rat ring, a blackened canteen and a mirrored timepiece.



Friday, August 21, 2026

Goals and Optimization


There is lots of interesting stuff to do in the Disc, but all stuff comes at a price. Not a monetary one, but rather, one of experience, which is a much scarcer commodity.  This forces you to focus: out of all the things one could learn and practice, which ones are the better trade-off?

The most obvious answer to the question is to focus on the most instrumental of of all subroutines: do those things that will procure you more experience.  And this, in the Disc, means getting good at sticking pointy bits of metal into other people, or turning them to ashes with fireballs, if you're a wizard. And this always remains a goal you keep pushing. But after some time, it meets diminishing returns. So while it is always in the background, you need to supplement it with better means of survival (as in defensive skills and in better personal health) and, in general, you have to try to optimize for the low-hanging fruit you are interested in gathering.

A somewhat overlapping goal will be becoming good at what your guild does, which in my case, is being a wizard and casting spells. So an interesting set of goals is spell-chasing: you want to be able to cast a certain spell and to do it well, so you spend your hard-earned experience in the magical skills required for the casting. Once you're good enough, rinse and repeat with another spell, and so on.

At the moment, I am able to cast all the spells that the Discworld's grimoires can afford (which doesn't mean I have cast all of them: there are a couple related with DEATH that don't get much use). And while I have pushed my skills in some branches of magic so that I may be ever more proficient at floating heavy things for self-protection, this also meets with diminishing results when you reach, say, 436 levels. 

So this got me thinking to what I should be prioritizing instead, or at least, on some cycle I should make, of the sort: cycle 1: spend xp on defensive/offensive magic; cycles 2, 3 and 4: spend xp on something else. But what something else, I wonder?

The first thing that comes to mind would be more useful fighting and surviving skills, so that would mean dumping xp in sword skills, health and dodging, all of which have also reached a stage in which 3 million xp barely budges them much. 

I really like the crafts, and right now, I am quite interested in gold smithing. I would also like to start making nice staves, but one has to focus and not get dispersed. So I am tempted to employ cycles 2, 3 and 4 exclusively for this purpose until I can get topmost results in forging. Which, at the moment, and with what feel like rather high skills, I still cannot.

One also, though, is inspired to chase for lesser goals in the hope of tms. My silver smithing skills are low and I don't care to spend anything on them right now, but as I can usually get baser metals than gold from the Copperhead mines, I might as well be spending those bars into improving my skills. I worked at that somewhat this afternoon. The results weren't great, but they were pretty acceptable, and I also got a couple of tms in crafts.points and in crafts.smithing.black.tools. The best pieces I got looked like this:

  • A pretty brass wise owl statuette: Simple and pretty, this little brass owl has a deep well in her head for ink. 
  • A copper tankard: Short and sturdy, with a solid base and a strong handle, this copper tankard will hold a full pint safely in even the most drunken grip. 

Of course, there are some mini-goals that require no expenditure of experience, and you can indulge in them for the occasional tms. Of these, the most relevant ones at the moment are:

  • Spoken dwarvish: I have acquired masterful proficiency in the written form, but my spoken skills still leave something to be desire. And yet, while talking, I just managed to get to level 78!
You feel like the Dwarfish language is less confusing.
..austrophobia ..eeds .. ..ese ..aves  ..ut ..o ..s ..zhak'khin'khuz ..lse   ..nd ..ustrophobia ..s  ..k ..n  ..y ..en ..bir'khuz ..th ..mit ..ees ..akh'bir'khab ..o ..he ..reatures ..hich ..ause ..he ..centrated ..khab'bir ..ch .. ..bir'khab ..n ..e ..casional ..koragh ..m ..e ..p   ..gash ..ve ..mber ..s ..limy ..th ..amp not .. ..ssibly ..ther ..bstances  ..nd .. .. ..l ..  ..y ..ce ..khar .. .. ..khin ..ne   ..rtain ..ompany ..uld ..ake ..  ..hole .. ..orse   .. ..ves ..khin'rhag'khin ..t .. ..est
..bir'akh'aule'khar   ..s         ..   not    not   not   ..khin'khuz           ..rophobia        not   not  not  not not    not   not not        ..d     not    ..res   ..   ..      ..rated   ..        not ..d         ..ional              not  not  not     ..     not ..y      not       ..y   ..r   ..ances       not        not     not          not not           not ..   ..ny   not         not ..  not    ..         not  ..nue         
hskills
Recent skill changes during this session:
Thu Aug 20 22:31:42 2026 - spoken Dwarfish increased by 1 level to level 78.


  • percussion: I am decently proficient with wind and stringed instruments, but lag behind in the rest, so I've taken to carrying with me a kokiriko, a very curious Agatean piece of craftmanship. It is basically a... kind of clapper? I am at 111 levels right now, and mostly getting bad messages when I play it ('You play an irritating rattling rhythm on your kokiriko' 'You shake your kokiriko, creating an unpleasant rattle'), but some tms are still coming. The description is as follows (and I'll provide you a picture to go along):

This unique instrument of Agatea looks very much like a bendy two foot long comb with handles at either end.  It can be played in various ways due to its flexible construction.  As the handles are moved, dozens of small rectangular wooden blocks hit each other in succession, creating a captivatingly active rhythm very similar in sound to a row of dominoes falling.


  • Burden reduction: I used to carry a lot of gear because I just loved how it looked, but given that I am a spellcaster who attempts to dodge when the chips are down, I am finding myself ever and ever trying to optimize for lower weight. Until today, I was using a silver-studded sword belt as the sheath for my sea fang, while using a charmed navel stud for storing a lovely keris for component gathering. But I noticed two things today: the belt is heavy (6/9 lb) and every time I retrieve the sand keris I spend 20 gps, so a change was in order. I noticed that in the same place that I had gotten the keris, the local spirits also sold a lighter belt that could house my sea fang and the deluded knife I use for casting KID on about-to-die trolls, but which I could now double as the component-gathering dagger. The belt is the filigreed sword belt (weighing 3/9 lb) that reads like this:
This elegant belt is made of sturdy, high-quality leather and decorated all along its length with intricate gold filigree. The contrast between the dark brown and the gold lend it a certain understated style, making it as decorative as it is practical. Two adjustable loops allow for a wide range of blades to be sheathed on each hip so that from a wide-bladed scimitar to a needle-pointed dagger, one can be certain to always have quick access to their weapon of choice. There are two loops free. It could sheathe a scimitar, sword, blade, dagger, knife, rapier, epee, foil, colichemarde, sidesword or sabre.


So this is what has been occupying my mind lately. Although I have a clear picture of my current subgoals, I feel I should make an ordered list of things i want to improve, maybe one at a time, as soon as I've gotten my finesmithing working. Let me see:

-My fighting.unarmed.grappling needs some urgent spending, as my 250-ish bonuses are insufficient a lot of the time to stop muggers in the Shades for temporarily snatching my sword. I am optimistic that maybe just 20 or so more levels might do the trick. 
-My crafts.pottery.staining hasn't been able yet to reach the quite to the top: the Apocralypse pattern in the Sung pottery room defeats me each and every time, and I am pretty sure some of the most complicated designs of the Sto Lat pottery shop are beyond me. That's my next artistic goal - perhaps I need some c. 400 bonuses for this.
-Both people.trading.valueing jewellery and gems need to go up, as I sell a lot of that stuff (205 and 150 levels respectively; I should likely go for at least 250 for each).
-crafts.points needs to go up too. With only 150 levels, I run out of them pretty quick.
-the adventuring branch is one I mostly neglect and are not too enthusiastic about, but I have to get around one day to improving adventuring.movement.swimming, adventuring.movement.climbing rock and rope and adventuring.perception.  The latter would be particularly useful in a certain smuggler's den..
-after this, I should be able to focus on the different skills required for making a good staff...