Sageroff's Sentry Summoning

What's it called? Sageroff's Sentry Summoning (in brief, SSS2; the first SSS is the much more used Scolorid's)

What does it do? Well, this spell summons a little deamon that will sit on your shoulder and chat a bit. Its main apparent function would be to defend your equipment, but as the help file states, it just 'watches over' it, meaning it will inform you when you're stolen, but it won't do anything to help you stop or prevent the stealing.
Being as it is, it comes as the most useless spell in existence. Being just warned can be done easily, and with retentive effect, by just bothering to spend a bit more in adventuring.perception. The idea behind the spell is probably of a funny, non agressive wizard equivalent of priestly wards. It needs great reworking to even come into player use and minds, though...

Where is it? Being a Shadow's business thing (imp invoking from Hell and those sort of things), it lies inside the My Firste Demon-Summoning Booke! By Beatrix Faust grimoire, at the Unseen University Library.

What does it require? a candle, a mirror, a knife and an apple. Only the fruit is consumed in the process.

What skills do I need? Fire, Charming, Summoning, Abjuring, Banishing

Has it worked? The proper output should read something like this:

You prepare to cast Sageroff's Sentry Summoning on xxx (target of protection).
You light the candle.
You let the candle smoke play over the mirror, calling for any imps that might be listening.
You slice the apple into chunks, and attempt to entice friendly imps with the apple.
You command the imp to stand watch.
You banish the dark creatures that have followed the imp.
With a popping sound, a small imp appears over your left shoulder.

Notes:

The summoned imp is quite a spammy chatterer, and has a bunch of funny phrases. I've noted down the following: “The imp whispers: You should brush your teeth more often. Phew!”/ “The imp whispers: Hey, I think there's already a fiery pit of torment waiting for you back home” / “The imp whispers: When the demon lords sweep forth and conquer the Disc, all this will be mine” / “The imp whispers: I wish I were a real demon. I wouldn’t be stuck watching some loser’s stuff then, let me tell you” / “The imp whispers: Man, you’re boring. This is the exiting life of adventure, eh? I’d rather be a chiropracter” / “The imp whispers: Do you have any idea how boring it is to sit and watch someone’s stuff?” / “The imp whispers: Hey, can you see anywhere for the king of hearts?” / “The imp whispers: Hey, let’s play a game! Repeat after me: Hpathags Scoruvnum Calistat, Nevex K’z’k fthaugn! That will summon elder demon Lords of Darkness to steal your soul” / “The imp whispers: I think I lost count of your items... one or two don’t matter, do they?” / “The imp whispers: I’m going to nap for a bit. I’m sure nothing will go missing, right?” / At the end, “The imp waves and departs for its own dimensions”.

Help Information:

Sageroff's Sentry Summoning - Summon an imp to guard your inventory.

Sageroff's Sentry Summoning is a defensive spell that summons an imp from the Pit (well, a pit, anyway) to watch over your equipment. It will warn of theft, but do nothing to prevent it.

Rugged Victor's Rodentia Vivisection

What's it called? Rugged Victor's Rodentia Vivisection (in brief, RVRV)

What does it do? Here's a magic pesticide. This spell allows you, upon casting, to automatically kill a rat with a rather gruesome death. It generally includes burstings and similar side effects.
The spell belongs to the toy-group, although it is handy at low levels for rat-killing, and it always looks great. I'd say it is my favourite useless spell, and I carry it from time to time because of the treats it gives me (see notes).

Where is it? As it isn't the most useful xp granting piece of sorcery you can find, it belongs inside the Begynners' Magick grimoire present in the different gyms of wizardly institutions.

What does it require? A rat tail, which isn't consumed. It is a good idea to pickle it, or it will rot.

What skills do I need? Charming, Dancing

Has it worked? The proper output should read something like this:

You prepare to cast Rugged Victor's Rodentia Vivisection on the rat.
You flash the rat your best smile.
You turn your foot to the left and shake the rat’s tail in the air ominously.
The rat dies.
A rat... (see notes)
The corpse of a rat quivers, and oozes into nothingness.

Notes:

After making the rat explode, many things can happen. Some of them are as follows: organ dispersion (“A rat tooth bursts out of the corpse of a rat; A rat right rear paw burst out of the corpse of a rat; A rat spleen bursts out of the corpse of a rat...”), tadpoles (“The corpse of a rat starts to twitch violently. A small tadpole suddenly bursts forth from the corpse of a rat!...”), baby rats, or even sweets (“A caramel loveball bursts out of the corpse of a rat”).
For those of the freakish persuasion, the loveball tastes great and looks like this:

This small piece of sultry caramel seems to tantalise and befuddle the senses, as if saying "come on, eat me, you know you want to..." Coquettish swirls and cheeky rivulets run all through the voluptuous caramel, as though it longs to be caressed by your long red tongue and mashed by your strong, virile teeth...

Help Information:

Rugged Victor's Rodentia Vivisection - make your furry friends explode with happiness.

Rugged Victor's Rodentia Vivisection is a first order offensive spell that instantly destroys a given rodent. Rodents may or may not reveal a hidden bounty when destroyed.

No actual rats were harmed during the coding of the spell.

Rubayak's Power Storage

What's it called? Rubayak's Power Storage (in brief, RPS)

What does it do? This spell is about recharging. As you probably know, there's different ways of getting an item recharged. The main one uses some pinches of purple mineral powder. Some mention a certain weak dust that can be harvested by sweeping Sandelphon's altar. The third is Rubayak's Power Storage. When you cast the spell, you 'store' all your guild points inside a shell. After many casts, the shell can be used as recharging fuel. Once used, the shell is spent.
The spell isn't of much use, as the difference between purple powder and itself is abysmal: you need to spend tons of gps into the shells to be able to recharge something bigger than a pickling stick. Overall, a good concept that is marred by balancing equations.

Where is it? You can find it inside the Introeductyon too thee Strukture of thee Multyverss grimoire, at the Unseen University Library.

What does it require? A black shell, in which to store the power. The shell isn't consumed in the casting, but much later, when you use it along with the 'recharge' command.

What skills do I need? Binding, Channeling, Enchanting, Enchanting (2)

Has it worked? The proper output should read something like this:

You prepare to cast Rubayak's Power Storage on the black shell.
You carefully inspect the black shell.
You collect power suitable for artifacts from within yourself.
You lift the black shell to eye level in front of you.
You funnel your power into the black shell.
The interior of the black shell glows a very faint pink for a moment.

Help Information:

Rubayak's Power Storage - store power

Rubayak's Power Storage allows you to store power in a spiral of containment for later use. It will drain all of your guild points and how well the power is stored will depend on your skills.

See also
recharge

Reckless Encouragement of Arcane Peacock

What's it called? Reckless Encouragement of Arcane Peacock (in short, REAP)

What does it do? If the victim is a wizard, a witch or a priest (that is, someone that has rituals or spells), a good cast of this spell creates a 'craving' in them for the casting of a certain spell/ritual. If the crave isn't satisfied, it brings about many bad things (maluses, or total apathy in being subjected to attacks in the case of npc's).
The spell is great fun, an can be moderately useful when cast on the said persons, as they will be totally defenceless. The problem is that even in these cases, more than half of the times it doesn't come into effect, and you get no information of failure, so they can defend themselves. Besides, the same effect is catered more effectively by Stacklady's. Nevertheless, it is something good to have.

Where is it? It might come as a surprise that it belongs to the Divinational Arts grimoire, at the Bes Pelargic Wizard's Guild. On second thoughts, the spell *does* require divining the craves of the casted, or some ability to inspire them...

What does it require? A tigerwood staff, which isn't consumed (even in miscasts).

What skills do I need? Air, Channeling, Divining, Binding, Enchanting

Has it worked? The proper output should read something like this:

You prepare to cast Reckless Encouragement of Arcane Peacock on the xxx.
You swing the tigerwood staff around your head focusing on the subtle roar emanating from it.
Concentrating on the sound, you channel the dull droning of past lectures, spell trainings, and rituals you've attended in the past. Ew.
You swing the tigerwood staff so fast a rip in time starts to form! You start mapping a way for the excitement you once felt for the arcane to come forth, into you!
As the map becomes more clear, you rip the route away and fling the energies like a mental whip, cracking the xxx in the forehead!
You focus on this mental connection and enchant it with all the excitement of your youth pumping it into the xxx's mind.

Notes:

As was previously stated, you don't get a message that tells you if the spell has succeeded, appart from the 'proper' line of casting messages, which may mean the victim if unaffected. To be sure, you'll have to wait and see the npc cast a spell or a ritual.
Otherwise, you do get two failure messages. In case the victim doesn't belong to the three categories stated above, they will 'seem to shrug off your assault'. If it's tougher and resists the attack, the craving goes back and affects you, with the following messages appearing: You can't seem to force the feeling into the xxx. It seems it will have to stay in yourself... / A weird feeling washes over you. / You feel an overwhelming urge to cast xxx

Help Information:

Reckless Encouragement of Arcane Peacock - Causes a dangerous craving.

As reckless as this spell sounds, it does in fact cause an uncontrollable craving within your target. Should this craving not be satisfied, your target will slowly start losing the ability to maintain concentration on his or her skills, thus making them weaker.

Professor Flambardie's Grim Amulet

What's it called? Professor Flambardie's Grim Amulet (in brief, PFGA)

What does it do? After a good cast, this spell creates a 'twisted black amulet', which besides being a nice-looking piece of jewellery for daemonologists, is a requisite component for (and grants some protection from) the two main daemonic spells: Kelleflump's Irritating Demon and Doctor Kelleflump's Deadly Demon. In both cases, the amulet (which has already been described here) lasts a certain number of uses (probably skill-dependant, and usually not more than 12 or so casts even with good bonuses) before melting away.
The spell is a must if you intend to go around throwing evil imps at people. Because of its huge size and gp expenditure, along with relatively scarce components, the best way is to have a scroll of it and gathered components in a vault, and from time to time, re-stock your collection.

Where is it? As with all the hellish-dealing spells, it lurks inside the My Firste Demon-Summoning Booke! By Beatrix Faust grimoire, at the Unseen University Library.

What does it require? Lots of things: the focus of an octogram, a wand (not consumed), a small green crystal and a silver medallion (the last two consumed in the process).

What skills do I need? Amulet, Water, Wand, Summoning, Binding

Has it worked? The proper output should read something like this:

You prepare to cast Professor Flambardie's Grim Amulet.
You weigh the silver medallion in your hand, taking the measure of its form and material, and polish the surface clean and bright with a thought.
You take the Rhokshial's crystal firmly between thumb and forefinger, anointing the tip of your wand with the pure elemental essence of vitriol.
You sketch a series of eldritch runes onto the silver in dark, smoking lines of vitriol. As you draw, the runes writhe and twist, forming disturbing messages of madness and woe.
You whisper the three hidden names of the darkness, and the seven dread titles of the Lords who lurk in the rugose night beyond the edges of the world we know. One word more forces itself from your throat, the harsh-edged consonants scraping painfully across your palate, and echoes against unseen walls.
There is a sudden gust of chill, dank wind, carrying the moist unpleasant odour of old dead peat bogs and rotting garlic. You gather it firmly in your hands and twine it around the amulet, which twists and writhes, thrusting out spikes and hooks to catch and hold the demon-haunted air fast.
Your newly formed twisted black amulet glows with sullen power.

Help Information:

Professor Flambardie's Grim Amulet - Creates a protective amulet

Professor Flambardie wrote this spell to make sure that wizards would no longer be summoning demons without adequate equipment. Do be careful.

Should I go to the retro?

A long, long time ago, I made my first visit to the retrophrenologist. In that occasion, I decided I could do with a bit more strength at the cost of some dexterity. Now I am wondering if I should sacrifice that gained strenght and send it towards wisdom...

As it stands, my current rearrange is as follows:

Constitution 11 Dexterity 12 Intelligence 18 Strength 14 Wisdom 10

More wisdom would imply the following advantages: a highter ma.sp.sp bonus (and therefore, a bit more of the always needed midspace for spells) and higher bonuses in the spiritual skills (something that would make my quest for the Deadly Deamon easier to attain. To get 330 bonuses in banishing, abjuring and summoning, I need now about 352 levels in each. With the new rearrange, it would be enough with 336 levels). It would also slightly improve my dodge.

The setbacks (at least in the skills I use regularly) would be in adventuring.health (ouch! a very basty one! I'd need to climb 65 levels more -up to 400- just to recover the bonus I have now), magic.spells.offensive (here I'd need 23 levels more to catch up), fighting.melee.sword (10 levels here) and fighting.points (29, but then I'm at a quite modest 201 levels, so it wouldn't be much of an effort). And, of course, a roughly 10 per cent increase in burden.

All in all, I feel like I'm not going to make changes, as the lowering of health would be really annoying (I need all the health I can get for the remote future when I start daemon and dragon-casting), and the difference between 333 and 352 levels is a bugger, but doable in 3 skills (on a rough guess, 5-6 millions xp each?). The extra mindspace I think will have to wait for some future and expensive expenditure. Nevertheless, I am open to comments and suggestions from you, anonymous readers, on the topic...

Pragi's Lost Gaze

What's it called? Pragi's Lost Gaze (in brief, PLG)

What does it do? The spell is a slightly modified version of Pragi's Fiery Gaze. It also creates a ball of fire room spell that consumes your adversaries, but the difference is that with this version, you can cast from 'outside' the targeted room. This has the very obvious advantage that the fire victims won't be able to retaliate and hit you back.
The concept is quite good, but in practice, it doesn't work very well, as the damage it does is considerably lower than its brother-spell and (what is much more important), the components are a bugger, and extremely heavy (I can hardly carry them around with more than normal strength). Overall, a nice concept, but an impractical result because of balancing needs.

Where is it? It's one of those exotic spells that abide within the sticky pages of the Spelles of thee Oryent grimoire at the Djelian Institute of Illusionary Learning.

What does it require? An eye, a hand, a left leg and a right leg. All the body parts are consumed in the process.

What skills do I need? Evoking, Evoking (2), Enchanting, Animating, Animating (2), Fire

Has it worked? The proper output should read something like this:

You prepare to cast Pragi’s Lost Gaze.
You get the two legs and prop them up beside each other.
You shove the hand on top of the legs. The whole structure looks a little shaky.
You walk slowly around the strange looking pile muttering ‘bingo’ under your breath.
The legs jerk a bit and the whole structure seems to hold together more strongly.
You carefully place the eye in the cupped hand.
You wave your hand around above the pile leaving a strangle purplish glow in the air.
The pile stands at attention and looks at you eagerly. Be quick now, the fuse is not very long.
Use the ‘direct’ command to direct the shuffer elsewhere.
The shuffler shuffles out (n,e,s,w…).

Help Information:

Pragi's Lost Gaze - a lost Pragi's looking for a place to explode.

This spell creates a wandering bunch of explodable eyes that will wander off into another room under your direction. After a time it will explode and shower everyone in a surprised wreath of flames. Pragi is said to have thought this spell was a little ungainly in construction, not enough body parts.

Notes:

Take care of the 'direct' command and type quite quickly after the cast, or the fireball will explode in your face, with all attendant rigour.

Staves again...

So... after the infamous roll-back, I was left without a custom staff. Not that I make much use of them, as I hardly employ the polearm branch for fighting, and the current Sto Lat staves have no magic virtues attached to them. As for exhibition, I almost prefer the blackened iron staff, which also has the sufficient strength for some petty uses I can think of, and which looks quite gorgeous.

Nevertheless, I have contacted Funderburk again, and presently enjoy a new staff, that looks like this:

You get a butterscotch yellow oak staff from the clean nest.

look staff

Slender and wieldy, this staff is six feet of oak shaped and balanced to be almost perfect for spellcasting or banishing demons the violent way. It has been smoothly stained butterscotch yellow. It has been polished to a gleaming sheen with beeswax which breathes the scent of smoke and brimstone into the air around it.