Booch's Extremal Polymorphism

[Well, up to now we've had to alter slightly the alphabetical order only once: there are a few spells (around 10) which Winswand cannot cast yet, or doesn't dare to try. Booch's was one of them, as it implied a permanent and probably uncomfortable (-1 dex) effect. I also supposed, quite rightly, that the output would be the same or very similar to Yordon's, the twin spell to this one, and one whose effects aren't permanent (for Booch's you have to wait till you die, which in my case is quite a frequent event...).

But I had to try... So the other day, I cast it. A bit later than schedule, then, here it is].

What's it called? Booch's Extremal Polymorphism (in brief, BEP)

What does it do? Well, it creates a third arm for you. The idea is that you will find it useful for scratching your nose, playing musical instruments while you attack at the same time... No, really, the only advantage is that, having three hands (in theory you can get even more, but 'tis said bonuses for the fouth skyrocket...) gives you the possibility of an extra weapon (specially if you use a two-handed one).

The inconveniences are plenty: the arm may appear in various places, such as armpits, necks or heads, or chests. It prevents you from wearing certain items depending on where it sprouts (hats, necklaces...). If on your left or right, the broken symmetry is paid with a dexterity malus.

Also (in theory: here we follow Sekiri's old site), there's the possibility that the new and the old arms might be cut off in a fight.

Where is it? You'll have to tackle the disorienting ways of the Orient's favourite spell library, at the Institute of Illusionary Learning, to put your (two) hands on it. Or a scroll, of course. It is in Ye Booke of Polymorphe.

What does it require? : first, the drawing of an octogram. Then, a set of heavy components, composed of a troll arm, a human arm and a dwarf arm. All are consumed in the process.

What skills do I need? Channeling, Convoking, Evoking, Binding, Animating

Has it worked? A correct output should read something like this:

You prepare to cast Booch's Extremal Polymorphism.
You check the contents of your inventory.
You fetch a troll arm from the pile of your belongings and put it on the ground.
You find a dwarf arm from among your stuff and place it on the ground near the troll arm.
Finally, you discover a human arm and place it on the ground so that the three arms form a triangle.
You spend several seconds admiring the gruesome picture of the arm triangle.
Ok, now you have an additional arm hanging from the top of your head. What's next?
You can no longer wear your sapphire blue wizard's pointy hat.

[of course, the yellow, ironical phrase changes depending on the place the arms has appeared. And also the things you cannot wear...]

Help Information:

Yordon's Extremal Extension and Booch's Extremal Polymorphism

These spells let you grow extra limbs, which could come in handy in a fight or when carrying grocery bags.

Books - The Olde Arte of Foode

A sticky grimoire is on the floor.

This book looks vaguely like a ham and cheese sandwich. It seems to crackle with energy, probably from all the carbohydrates, seasoned with condiments from the Dungeon Dimensions.
Octarine sauce runs all over the core.

Table of Contents
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

2 - Wurphle’s Midnight Snack

3 - Wurphle's Packed Lunch

Order Rooms: the Last Order

Well, as you might guess, this bit of scrying required extra help, as almost all of the members of the Last Order only appear to me in a haze of smoke and mirrors... Therefore, special thanks to Master Benfrey the Obscure, who allowed me to peek into the most discreet and secretive of Orders...

This darkened room is the lounging area of the infamous Last Order. Silently, a few candle flames circle the room and cast a weary shadow among the various objects. Along the walls, multicoloured drapes swoop and plumet, much like the water of a calm ocean. This room hasn't been created for the morbid-minded as much as it has for those who like to keep private. In the centre of the room is a large rectangular table around which sit multiple black leather chairs. Against one of the walls, a large bulletin board stands next to a small chest.
A small octarine eye, hovering in the middle of the room, watches you.
There are three obvious exits: west, southwest and south.

l table: This is a rectangle-shaped table constructed of petrified cherry wood. It's all so executive looking! The top has been polished to a crystal-like gleam and the edges have been rounded off. The feet come down into a swooping claw that grasps a solid rose-quartz ball.

l chairs: These chairs are large and plush. The black leather strains at the seams, yet shines with the subtle luster. These oversized chairs sit properly at the table in a manner that nearly screams "board room"!

l walls: The walls are covered by multicoloured drapes made from velvet. They have been quilted so elegantly that the colours collide in a harlequinesque motif.

l drapes: These are multicoloured drapes made from velvet. They have been quilted so elegantly that the colours collide in a harlequinesque motif.

l floor: The floor is covered in a plush grey shag.

l candle flames: These are what seem to be the tips of burning wicks. Which, of course, should be on candles. But they're not. Instead a mere flame hovers gently and circles the room, causing shadows to dance around slowly and eerily.

l shadows: These are created by the light of the flames and nothing else.

l circle (of fire): This is a circle of flame. Curiously, the vortex around which all the flames seem to be orbiting, shimmers ever so lightly, as if there's a strange air distortion there or a gap leading to l-space.

Stupydest Wayes of Dieyng

[Well, I could write a book about that... last one was this morning. After going to House Sung to get a new mission, and receiving the chit and orders from Kunaikuka, my mind decides to wander elsewhere (Roundworld me reading pages at wikipedia...). When I return, I find a dead body. How? I must have accidentally pressed the key that activates Pragi before leaving...]

Kunaikuka begins looking through the records.

Kunaikuka whispers to you in Agatean with a Bes Pelargic accent: Having checked your records, it appears your level of prestige does not entitle you to a new title. Maybe you should work on changing that.

Kunaikuka shuffles about whilst muttering curses.

You get a cured human right eye from Bottomless Pit.

You prepare to cast Pragi's Fiery Gaze.

The iridescent scarab beetle nuzzles you affectionately.

You lazily close your hand around the eye.

You poke your tongue out at the world.You struggle to hold your hand closed as red sparks shoot out from between your fingers.

You let go of the eye. It hovers above your hand.

The eye ignites and a small ball of fire forms above your hand.

Kunaikuka loudly exclaims in Agatean with a Bes Pelargic accent: Run!

Kunaikuka leaves south.

You move your hand and the ball of fire zooms out into the immediate vicinity and sweeps over everything.

The fire fails to harm the light green moon dragon.

The fire dies away.

Kunaikuka arrives from the south.

Kunaikuka moves aggressively towards you!

Hp: 1873 (1873) Gp: 273 (327) Xp: 52976

Kunaikuka punches at you but your floating medium metal shield swoops in and absorbs all of the blow.

(...)

Hp: 54 (1873) Gp: 327 (327) Xp: 53183

Kunaikuka viciously boots you in the stomach.

As you dissolve into ectoplasm, the light green moon dragon falls through you with an embarrassed squawk.

Your skin feels itchy; large pieces flake off as you scratch it.

You feel dry now.

Someone says: MY, WE'VE BEEN A BIT CARELESS, HAVEN'T WE? SHALL WE POPPADOM TO THE NEXT DIMENSION?

You turn and see Death standing behind you.

The light green moon dragon nibbles at the ground thoughtfully.

Death says: AH, THERE YOU ARE. ARE YOU THE LAST ONE?

Death says: ALAS, YOU ARE DEAD NOW: SHUFFLED OFF THE MORTAL COIL, OUT OUT BRIEF CANDLE, FAREWELL CRUEL WORLD...

Death pauses for dramatic effect. He's trying to humanise a touch.

Death says: I SUPPOSE YOU WANT TO BE ALLOWED TO STAY, DO YOU?

Brassica Oleracea Ambulata

What's it called? Brassica Oleracea Ambulata (in brief, BOA)

What does it do? It summons a cabbage that follows you, loves you and generally spams a lot. You may convoke and throw upon yourself or other people a large number of these thinguies, which may be destroyed by eating them (the person who has the cabbage cast upon him) or turning them into coleslaw with a pickling stick. The first option isn't recommended for those with a weak stomach...

There are rumours about a previous variant of the spell, used by NPC Wizards, that threw you an agressive, wrotten version of a cabbage (similar perhaps to the ones you find in the Sto Lat Warehouse?). If that is the case, 'tis a pity the cres don't resurrect that one to complement this inocent toy spell...

Where is it? It can be found in the Cunjuryng for Begynners grimoire, inside the depths of the UU Library.

What does it require? Nothing at all (well, knowing the spell, the skills and liking cabbages a lot...)

What skills do I need? Evoking, Channeling, Animating

Has it worked? A correct output should read something like this:

You prepare to cast Brassica Oleracea Ambulata on xxx.
You thoughtfully chew your cheek.
You hold your hand out in front of yourself and stare intently at it.
Your hand shudders, going a slight green colour.
A cabbage suddlenly appears from nowhere.
It looks adoringly at xxx.
The cabbage follows xxx.

Help Information:

Brassica Oleracea Ambulata - Create a lovely cabbage.

Brassica Oleracea Ambulata is a miscellaneous type spell which creates an animated cabbage to follow the spell's target.

Books - Introeductyon too thee Strukture of thee Multyverss

A well-read volume is on the floor.

The covers of this book are well-creased and the pages are dog-eared, with many a fingerprint and grease stain on them. You’d guess that this is one of the main texts for a course at the University.

Small octarine sparks crackle fitfully through the creases and folds in the pages.

Table of Contents
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

2 – Rubayak’s Power Storage

3 - Frygellan’s Fiendish Orb Disruptor

4 - Brother Happalon’s Elementary Enchantment

5 - Jogloran’s Portal of Cheaper Travel

6 - Endorphin’s Floating Friend

7 - Heezlewurst's Elemental Buffer

8 - Fabrication Classification Identification

9 – Master Glimer’s Amazing Glowing Thing

Woddeley's Occult Primer

Yes, the basic book on wizardry and spell abilities is here too!. Not all of them appear, yet the descriptions that do appear of magic skills well deserve the publishing and the reading. Like the order rooms, the spells and the spellbooks, we will be publishing here the full contents of this book.

This is a thin, useful-looking, cloth-bound book. It looks well read, judging by the way the pages curl at the corners.

It is closed.

Contents of Woddeley's Occult Primer

I. Mental Methods:
Animating. . . . . . . . . . . . 2
Channeling . . . . . . . . . . . 3
Charming . . . . . . . . . . . . 4
Convoking. . . . . . . . . . . . 5
Cursing. . . . . . . . . . . . . 6

II. Physickal Methods:
Binding. . . . . . . . . . . . . 7
Brewing. . . . . . . . . . . . . 8
Chanting . . . . . . . . . . . . 9
Dancing. . . . . . . . . . . . .10
Enchanting . . . . . . . . . . .11
Evoking. . . . . . . . . . . . .12
Healing. . . . . . . . . . . . .13
Scrying. . . . . . . . . . . . .14

III. Spiritual Methods:
Abjuring . . . . . . . . . . . .15
Banishing. . . . . . . . . . . .16
Conjuring. . . . . . . . . . . .17
Divining . . . . . . . . . . . .18
Summoning. . . . . . . . . . . .19

Order Rooms - Hoodwinkers

So... we are back! After a month-long retirement due to Roundworld travelling in the Baltic, Winswand returns to the Discworld and also to his magic Grimoire. Continuing with the series dedicated to order rooms, today we show you the Hoodwinker hole, with special thanks to the kind collaboration of master Positrix Stormcrow, at the time of enquiry (and probably, still now), the Senior Wizard of his Order...

This room seems to be more of a sphere than one of the more mundane, box-like rooms found Discwide. The walls, though certainly wooden, have been polished to a perfect sheen, like that found inside the mother of pearl. Sitting in the middle of the sphere is a fountain; the water shoots up towards the centre of the great globe. Around this waterworks, two hemispheres have been constructed from petrified wood and carved to resemble benches.
A small octarine eye, hovering in the middle of the room, watches you.
There are three obvious exits: north, east and south.

Room emotes: The basin full of illusions swirls and shimmers ever so subtly before returning to normal. / The shadow of a bulletin board sneaks to the other side of the fountain. / The walls around you shimmer for a moment. / A faintly glowing bulletin board phases in and out of reality.

l walls: The walls are strangely pearlescent. It's almost as if they've been carved from some deep dwelling mother of pearl.

l globe / sphere: Just type "look", silly.

l fountain: The fountain is unlike any other you've ever seen. On closer inspection, it's easy to see that it's not running water at all, but a constant stream of different shapes and objects shoots out of the top and falls into the basin below. The colors are all bright and unrealistic. This must be evidence of the talented illusionists of the Order. A small plaque is mounted to the side of the fountain.

l water: On closer examination, the realisation strikes that the fountain is not, in fact, running water but running illusions instead.

l hemispheres / l benches: These two benches are either half of what was once a mighty redwood tree. Each part has been separated and carved so as to resemble a couple of benches. The variegation of the wood lends to a most fanciful array of rust-like colours which swirl and twine together. A large chest is tucked neatly away under the bench.

l basin: Oddly enough, the basin doesn't seem to have a bottom at all. Instead, the liquid that should be pooling up here for the fountain to use forms a type of stairwell leading down. You could possibly enter the basin and follow the stairs down if you'd like.

l illusions/objects/shapes: These are merely figments of your imagination.